I agree, it's a reasonable expectation that two people working should have a lifestyle that something like 100k/year would support.
That being reasonable doesn't change the fact that it's still more than what 70% of other situations get, regardless of how those situations came about.
If you want to compare that on an individual level then it's still not modest. The median Individual income is only 36k/year. Even on an individual level they're still doing better than 70% of the population on that level.
Yes, it's possible to be comfortable and live a nice life no in NYC or SF. But let's not delude ourselves into thinking that just because it's reasonable to expect that level of income for a household, that it's modest, or even the norm.