There must be an uncanny valley effect going on because quite old movies don't take me out of the scene with the lighting techniques because they're so far off you don't get to thinking "well this is unrealistic" because of course it is. The actors seem to fit into the scenes.

I think that's what the issue is, newer films especially HDR, high frame rate... the actors don't seem immersed, everything is being done to hide the fact that it isn't reality and "everything" doesn't work very well. Like mediocre practical effects would lead to a better experience than advanced CGI.

Another way to think about it: The night scenes in old movies could embrace the stylization and limitations that the combination of relatively insensitive film and studio lighting afforded. See for example, the night scenes in The Night of the Hunter, for example the riverboat scene: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iFzTBPy7nl8. (The youtube video is stunningly low-bandwidth, another level of remove, but, yet again, the movie still holds up.)