I think I'd sooner go back to drugs and homelessness than face the thought of waking up every day to give the majority of my waking hours to something I don't care about. For almost the rest of my life.
Or even worse, something I disliked/working for trash people.
I used to have panic attacks thinking about this when I worked mundane, dead-end jobs.
Pardon my language but: the fuck is the point even?
At least if you're high, in a park reading a book or papers on the internet you're enjoying life.
I'm being genuine and not trying to be antagonistic, I'm not sure I understand why you bother to work at all?
If you don't find anything in the world interesting, what gives you the will to live and not commit suicide?