"Penetration" is not as offensive as "kill". Would you submit the s/SIGKILL/SIGNINE patch to any project?
I don't know about "Penetration" vs "kill" - I would agree that kill is objectively more offensive, but as an industry we've got an issue with sexual harassment not violence - so I don't know if kill really applies in it's offensive meaning here.
All I know is that the jokes around "Penetration" need to die. In this particular scenario that specific "Do you like being penetrated line" was practically set up as a response to the shirt - it's a bad shirt to wear to a professional event. If we can just tone down the marketing I think it'll continue to die off as decorum is normalized.
"I'm sorry, Fry, but astronomers renamed Uranus in 2620 to end that stupid joke once and for all."
That wasn't really the point I was trying to make. I don't think that it is problematic that foobar implies "fucked up beyond recognition". That is not an offensive phrase. It's a little uncouth, but not offensive on its own.
And penetration is not an offensive concept! It's what we call one thing going into another thing. Sex also involves this, I am told. Even killing isn't inherently offensive. We kill germs and mosquitoes (and mysqld) frequently and intentionally.
What really needs to happen is the accurate placement of blame. Like you say, the penetration jokes need to die (for the same reason the Uranus jokes needed to die in 2620). The penetration jokes directed at applicants by recruiters really need to die. But the use of the word "penetration" in security is not at fault, it's just an accurate term.
Still unfortunate. But understandable.