Smell You Later: The Weird Science of How Sweat Attracts
thewalrus.ca
thewalrus.ca
I expermented with many things that would work in dating, one of the things I tried was having a shower earlier on in the day I was going out (about 3-5 hours before) and make sure I do some sort mild excercise - walking/ houswork etc after the shower (and only having a little smell/ perfume on me)
obviously all my observations were subjective, but it felt like it made a difference on my success rate - whether it was that or it raised my confidence I've no idea
In older times, when daily showering/hygiene wasn't super widespread, perfumes were designed to complement your natural aroma instead of covering it up. We call those natural body odors "animalic" scents. These days, we add in those types of scent into the perfume itself.
I have to wash my hair daily otherwise I feel absolutely gross, and I'll also wash the private and smelly bits daily with soap, but otherwise I only use soap head to tow twice a week.
My partners have never seemed to notice or complain about any off smells although I realize being around someone for long periods of time can desensitize you so I've taken a few opportunities to ask my parents who would certainly be the first to tell me if I smell like crap and they've never had any complaints.
Anecdotally, every partner I've had has told me I have great skin. Hair stylists have also told me I have incredibly healthy hair - I've been using cheap Suave Essentials (the clear baby blue bottle) shampoo with no conditioner since I was a kid.
https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.healthdirect.gov.au/amp/art...
Non AMP link: https://www.healthdirect.gov.au/anal-care
But seriously, an interesting topics. Thanks for the links!
I've never been a daily hair washer.
Or all over body soaper.
No complaints so far...
Last I heard there was some research on finding mixes of comensal bacteria that can replace the "stinky" ones. But currently, it's risky at best.
What I did get out of the experience is cutting on shampoo use. On hot summer days you can wash your hair as often as you want - but the extra washes should be water only, or at most conditioner.
I don't understand these magical unicorns of people who just stop with all soap and shampoo and come out looking marvelous. I don't doubt they're special but I don't know what makes me poorly suited. I get rank and my hair gets terrible dandruff if I don't persist with these surfactants. And trust me, I've tried for a long time, to the detriment of everyone around me.
They smelled very bad.
Also see lots of posts about Steve Jobs smelling bad
Of course if I do something strenuous at home and get really sweaty or dirty I will shower. There's no point in being disgustingly sweaty/smelly.
Pragmatically, we can't smell ourselves very well, and we tend to think it smells fine when we can. So how would you know we don't need to be insecure?
Our society is also uptight about this such that it's often treated as offensive and transgressive to do a very normal and polite thing (one would think) and point out to a close acquaintance or any friend, that well, they smell, since they probably don't know themselves.
In short, stop wearing so much deodorant and ask someone you can trust "do I smell okay?" (And not your spouse. Because same problem as yourself.) Oh so awkward. But how else will you learn? For myself, I was greatly over-estimating the scale of the miasma. Some clearly are underestimating theirs. Some data points would help us all.
- no shampoo works for me, it has a difficult adaptation period but afterward it feels normal and my hair is healthy (nowadays I use a carefully selected shampoo about once a week)
- no soap also works but felts to weird to keep doing (nowadays I only use soap on sweaty areas, never on my face)
- no deodorant works and does not smell bad as long as your body is clean (nowadays I only use deodorant when I know I will be out and maybe active for too long to garantee that my body will stay clean)
If I'm drinking, I smell terrible. If I'm taking my ADHD medicine, I smell terrible. If I don't exercise I smell terrible. If I eat only terrible food I smell somewhat bad.
If I abstain from pharmaceuticals and alcohol, exercise regularly and eat fairly well, then I generally don't really have to shower because the body odor smells fine.
But ADHD medication (Ritalin, amphetamine) absolutely make me smell horrid. No one wants to be around that.
I once found myself in Shanghai minus my luggage that had contained my toiletries, including my deodorant - aluminum-free scented antiperspirant deodorant. From my searching (admittedly frustrated by poor Mandarin) no grocery, convenience store, or pharmacy in Shanghai stocks this product that's at every Walgreens and Meijer in the midwestern US. No, the people there don't smell bad at all. Apparently there's some kind of microbiome or skin oil in my pits that they don't have, or some beneficial thing that they do have which I don't.
But within a few hours, I stank profusely. My very patient and gracious host was unable to procure me any deodorant. I washed my pits repeatedly, but it only lasted an hour or less between washings. Later, when working from home, I tried going deodorant-free voluntarily: the transition to aluminum-free varieties was no big deal, the transition to deodorant free was an abject failure. I tried antibacterial soaps, non-antibacterial soaps, no soaps, mosturizers, even shaved my pits...only antiperspirant deodorant stops the stink for me.
Some people do smell human when they're sweaty, some try to mask it with perfumes but it's not necessary. Some don't have much of a perceptible smell at all. I smell repulsive.
I use shampoo on the hair (every few days only since covid, pre covid every day though) and under the arms. I definitely have and never will use soap on my face for example or arms (unless I've been up to my elbows (literally) in the garden or something and I actually have to get something off.
Since covid I've noticed what was already happening before. When I go to the office I smell more, even with deodorant. It basically fails after lunch and I need to wash and reapply. Having more coffee makes it worse but going coffee less doesn't make it not happen. WFH causes way less stink even without deodorant. Though work days are definitely still worse than weekends or vacations.
I've been through all the different types of commercial deodorants. They usually work very well almost miraculously for a few weeks after which they make me stink even worse than before starting them. I've switched to home made deodorant now and apply it only when I go somewhere it matters.
Perhaps coincidentally, ever since I had covid I've had practically 0 libido. I used to have several ONS a month, now I haven't felt the need or interest for that for more than half a year.
I've been wondering if there's any relation...
My initial reaction to personal stories in science article is to expect trudging through, but I didn't feel bored for a second here.
You aren't just you. You are a system that includes bacteria on and in you.
Despite the old "disproportionally more bacterial cells than human cells" myth, we can still have twice as many bacterial cells in our bodies than human cells [1].
Humans are a commensal organism of many colonies of bacteria. Without them, we'd be in bad shape.
https://m.dw.com/en/the-stasi-had-a-giant-smell-register-of-...
OK, now you're a little too gorky (== "bitter") for me.
I thought she was kidding the whole time I knew them. I wonder if this is what she meant.
I just wrote her off as a weirdo lol.
I wouldn’t be surprised if scent or some pheromone level is a major factor too.
This is in addition to form factor.
Interesting you brought up pheromones. There exists a whole cottage industry of companies selling pheromone scents used for the dating game. Most of it is snake oil though and they lack the proper studies needed to prove that the scents actually work
Most species have some selectivity used for determining mates, as well as reproductive strategies.
There is no shame in having a relationship with someone you find physically and mentally attractive.
After all, if children are the biggest investment in your life, may as well have them with someone you love.
Most western heterosexual women prefer men that are tall and have good facial symmetry. My gay friend told me he likes lumberjack types with heavy musculature. I personally prefer a taller woman with a good hip to waist ratio.
I wouldn't shame a woman for liking what she likes, nor would I shame my friend for his preferences. Nor should Cis hetero men be shamed for what they like. It is an individual decision.
There is a great deal more to relationship success beyond mere attractiveness. But, it has to start somewhere.