My experience of the linux OOM killer is not that its opinion differs from mine but that it has no opinion at all for a long, long time after the system is in deep trouble. The OOM killer simply does not act quickly enough to save systems. Sadly it's not customisable but 'earlyoom' (packaged for debian and probably everything else) is. I turned it on when I was messing about when debugging a badly behaved bit of software which went into a memory allocation loop and have just left it on. It's saved me a few times and I now plan to leave it on forever.
Looks like oomd is an idea along the same lines but with slightly different goals. It's not in my distro so not an easy option for me.