I think you're right that pretty much any approach to Native Americans by non-Native Americans is going to end up being problematic -- but is that really so surprising, given the immensity of what happened? How to even begin making amends for a multi-century campaign that literally erased a continent's worth of civilizations off the face of the earth? Massive reparations maybe? Massive land reform? If we're not talking about actions at that scale, then isn't any monument, memorial, or other form of honor little more than a sop and, arguably, more about assuaging the feelings of non-Natives?