Edit: I know there are ways to avoid N+1 problems with ORMs, but it seems to more easily sneak into code when your SQL queries look just like your application level code and you could easily enumerate over some SQL result, perform some action, and think that it builds an efficient query.
I've recently been working with a hobby project where I use the Clojure HoneySQL[2] library which essentially lets you build SQL queries as you normally would, but in Clojure's EDN syntax. It treats SQL queries as data. You can super easily evaluate them to get the resulting raw SQL query strings. There is no magic behind it and it encourages you to use the full power of your db.
[1] https://theartofpostgresql.com/blog/2019-09-the-r-in-orm/ [2] https://github.com/seancorfield/honeysql