> But do you really* want your child to learn to "win a fight" or to "fight"? To what degree? Any fight whatsoever?

I teach my girls to fight.

My intention is 1. to keep them out of fights 2. to make sure they can escape or win any fight someone else forces upon them.

Play dumb, hide your worries, try to talk yourself out, if it doesn't work hit, grab and twist or kick with the intent to cause severe pain. Then shout and run.

An armed society is a polite society and I do my part.

If an assailant get hurt I can live with that. The bloke I gave a beating some 25 years or so ago actually became a better person as far as I could se.