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Are there any linux alternatives ? Especially something that uses BPF/XDP ?

It seems that all the big ones - Google, Facebook, Cloudflare...all use BPF on Linux for everything.

Try VyOS. It's based on Vyatta, which is also what Ubiquiti's EdgeOS is based on. It's all CLI-only, but it's pretty powerful.

I've been using IPFire on my home network with a PCEngines APU hardware and works great with my gig speed internet.