Is anyone there?

Penpals who take six months to reply, people who screen their calls, giving a polite reply of "yes" when really you're never going to show up - it happens.

With the examples the author gave in a professional context - if you require a reply on something, set the expectation rather than assume someone communicates the same way as you.

If you're cold soliciting people over email for love or profit it should be with the understanding that it doesn't necessary honour the other party to reply.

In the art world, the protocol for asking for a show at someone's gallery is that you invite them over to your studio for a "studio visit." The purpose of the visit, to see if they want to give you a show, is known to both parties, but never explicitly stated. If the dealer doesn't want to give you a show, then you just had a nice visit where they gave you some feedback about your work. If they do want a show, obviously there's no problem. But the perils of saying "Can I have a show?" and getting rejected are avoided by the introduction of ambiguity. You don't know anything about why they've rejected you (if it's you or them) and the relationship isn't strained by anything too outright.

As annoying as it is sometimes, I think there are definitely cases in which ignoring email can be a graceful alternative to difficult options.

Am I the only person who found this metaphor a bit jarring? It seems very much like the author trying to make himself sound more cultured or intelligent, unless he's trying to say something like "travel with no outward signs of progress."

“There must be brave and smart souls who came to realize that thinking is more important than communicating,” he continued. “I see them in my mind’s eye a brave minority, sitting in silence, pondering and planning — the way it used to be.”

I like this guy's style.

Superbly written article by the way. Thanks for sharing @chaosmachine.

Don't want to wait at all? Use IM, or even social networking.

Improved spam detection increases the likelihood that an email will actually reach its intended recipient. In the 7 years I've been using gmail I've seen exactly one false positive (although there is some bias here as I've long since stopped checking my spam folder). But such technology has been slow to filter out to the less technically inclined ISPs and mail providers.

As far as actual verification, there are several ways to achieve this now. A popular technique is embedding a 1x1 pixel image with a unique id in its url. Unfortunately this is frequently abused by spammers looking for verification that an email address is good, so many email readers block images by default.

Any real solution is going to require some sort of trust mechanism or better make the procedure opt-in. Still, anything would improve upon the current situation where letters go silently into the void

I've been dating a girl I met recently, and the other day, I sent her an email that laid my heart open. After I sent it, I realized she probably wouldn't read it for hours, and then it might be even longer before she can craft a reply!

I moped around for an hour and a half, when she sent a reply saying she was sorry it took her that long to respond, and she knew what I must be going through, waiting for a response. She addressed only that painful bit, and responded to the rest when she had time later.

She's obviously a keeper. ;)

The moral of the story is that if you don't respect the properties of the medium, you can do yourself a lot of damage.

Email is usually delivered instantly, but -not always-. And it's a medium that is usually used for thoughtful replies, and not quick ones. If you want an instant answer, you need real-time communication.

This guy isn't too well-versed with technology is he.

Something like "how much would a clone of ebay.com cost?" takes 5 seconds to write by an eternity to answer in any thoughtful way (excluding true but glib responses like "more than you can afford").

For message-delivery emails, a "Please let me know if you've received this" goes a long way, as does following up with another medium.

For "quick question" emails, make sure they're as quick to answer as they are to ask. You don't have to go all the way to a multiple-choice form, but aim for mostly yes-or-no or which-of-the-above questions.

I know we live in a busy world, but you gotta have some insight into what ticks other people.

Ignoring people for too long leads to bitterness as you wonders why he/she has forgotten about you. It also leads to a negative view of the world. You start to think it's dog eat dog.. It's true.. we don't respond right away unless it's a sex text. We don't really care about others unless there's an orgasm in stake, or at least an indirect path to an orgasm.

Interesting, this must be how interviewers or HR types feel after they never get back to you.