my observation is that most companies present offers that are 30% lower than they should be to have a comfortable lifestyle in tech metros and not worry about school, housing or retirement costs. is this deliberate?
In tech metros, where those marginal market-clearing prices are set by those tech salaries, it makes sense that they would settle at precisely the point where they're no longer quite comfortable to the average tech worker. Otherwise, what's to stop you from paying a bit more for that house than the second best offer?