OpenSSH used his/her, so already better than others that always assume the programmer is male.
So often the gender is completely irrelevant to the discussion, so just don't mention it. Use "they" or even avoid the pronoun completely and use "the user" or whatever.
The problem is in practice it doesn't work and you would end up with monstrosities like "the user should define the user's own preferences in the user's preferences file located in the user's home directory."
I never said "avoid pronouns at all costs", but rather that there are alternatives you can use if it makes sense.
As far as I know, no man has ever complained about this. Whenever I read "she" I don't feel excluded as the documentation is just giving an example. Why are the pronoun-warriors so focused on these issues?