How the Elderly Lose Their Rights (2017)
newyorker.com
newyorker.com
The first few days after we got him his mobile phone and he settled in he - as we know him - texted via instant messenger and called frequently. Then, he got more and more disoriented while speaking and ignored texts or replyed with incomprehensible texts. As the situation were (covid and so on) we were not allowed to visit him in the hospital and where only able to call to the station, the nurses and the doctors... they all told us, that it is not that uncommon that we have to live with the fact, that older people have sometimes demenita.
Hint: He didn't had any dementia before he fell of this ladder. Or any other mental problems.
A few days later he got total delirious, and the hospital informed us that we had to prepare to give hime full care. It was a nightmare for us.
After 1,5 months he finally was released, and merely a shadow of the man i knew. We found out, that he was heavily drugged with melperon and risperidon for nearly the whole time he was there. We slowly took him of the medication and now he is slowly gaining back his old self, drives again and is recovering... we are evaluating legal actions against the hospital.
That some random person could make a case against an ageing individual and with little evidence assert their incompetence and thereby become their guardian with full control of all aspects of their life is unbelievable.
Whilst I don't doubt that there are people (of all ages) who struggle with independent living, taking away their right to decide their fate is something that should never be possible except in the most extreme conditions and as an absolute last resort.
In a country that prizes individual freedoms this is completely unbelievable.
My immediate family is small, and in the past decade, 5 of them have died. I've been a short-term caregiver, and saw others close to me take on long-term caregiving. I have to tell you, it is a lot of suffering. Go ahead and google it - a significant number of caregivers die before the patient does.
Three out of five of these family members were in denial about their mental health. They insisted that they were fine for years and delayed their diagnoses for bipolar disorder, dementia, and alzheimer's. This denial, the putting off of granting power of attorney, led to over $1M total in asset losses for the family as a whole. I'm certain that leaving their loved ones behind at the poverty line is something they wouldn't have done if only they had been in their right mind...
Just because a patient knows what year it is and who the president is does not mean they are of sound mind, and yet that is the criteria many doctors use to determine if their patients can go back out into the world and keep themselves afloat. I'm not just talking about finances either. I'd bet everything on my uncle sustaining brain damage that doctors didn't detect, then they trusted him to manage his diabetes - lost both his legs a couple years later, then his life too. Yes this is a complaint, but my point is, we cannot leave everyone to their own devices at old age and good health. People involuntarily abdicate responsibility for their own actions.
Individual freedom is very important, but there comes situations where it isn't the answer.
There is no glory in getting old. The elderly are robbed blind at every turn.
There's a previous discussion on HN with suggestions on protecting yourself and loved ones from predatory guardians.