And online dating is massively biased towards women, so more and more men are being left out.
Anyway its an interesting time we are in. One company (Match) owns like 90% of the dating apps and gets to “dictate” the future procreation of our species, if we put it in extreme terms.
https://www.statista.com/statistics/975925/us-tinder-user-ra...
But if there are proportionally less women than men, why would men look for them there ?
Most men don't have this. If a man wants a woman, he's gotta go pursue one. Dating apps present a lower-threat/easier way for men to pursue.
You should try socializing or dating in another country then. If you are not having luck "here" (where ever that is), why keep repeating the pattern?
But even in a social setting where there is opportunity for co-mingling, men generally still have to be the ones who "make the move" right? At least in my experience. Start the conversation, feel out the situation, ask for the phone number if things seem to be going well. That's a male-driven process that takes some calibrated effort (be charming without overdoing it, try without appearing to try, etc). At any party I've been to, I've never had success with women by just waiting in the corner for them to find me.
What I'm saying is the apps provide a much easier, more available way for men to do the pursuit work. That's why I think men swarm to them in greater numbers than women.
Now, if you're the kind of guy that sorta just shows up and suddenly women are handing you their phone number, congrats. You do not have the challenges the rest of us plebs have to deal with.
You're missing my point here. I'm saying hang out with groups of people and you will eventually talk with a girl and get to know one that you like. You may have to talk to 100 girls, but just be natural about it-- girls sense when you are faking it with some PUA stuff.
"What I'm saying is the apps provide a much easier, more available way for men to do the pursuit work. That's why I think men swarm to them in greater numbers than women."
Sure, but all the men in this thread are complaining that it's super focused on the pictures -- swipe left / swipe right -- and some are claiming only 2% of the men get a benefit from actually using the apps. So using the app is like a delusion. Just a more efficient way to not get a date.
So I am saying go talk to girls you want to meet in real life. Cut out the swiping.
"Now, if you're the kind of guy that sorta just shows up and suddenly women are handing you their phone number, congrats. You do not have the challenges the rest of us plebs have to deal with."
You know, they say that to get what you want, you have to know what is available first. I do well with women, but with women that would go for me. I'm not going to get the number from that 9/10 who has a beach bod and wants a guy with a muscle car. But what I have learned is that if a girl is single and might be into you, its worth saying hello in real life, or making a joke about how long the lineup is at the grocery, or it doesn't even matter what.
Just creating an opportunity. 100 times ot won't work. But 101th is what you're looking for.
Or move to another country. An American will be considered exotic and new in France, Germany, Asia, etc...on that basis alone you can meet girls.
The apps are just in theory easier and that’s why men use them.
I once used the Tinder of an ex girl friend (with her permission) and told her, I find one for you. She was okay looking but not super attractive. Match rate of the guys I chose for her was 100%. Basically most guys use the App like : yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes...
When women try Tinder as men, they see how much harder it is
Ghosting happens on both sides. Most men can't even get to that stage.
Try to run your argument about 'unlimited access to sex' outside the dating app world. Let's take bars. A woman may (theoretically) find a new sexual partner in a bar much easier and more frequently than a man (with a notable exception of gay bars). True? True. Does that make her life easy and mens miserable? No. If finding a new sexual partner in a bar every week was the most important thing in the world, gay dudes would be happiest people around. Finding sexual partners in school and universities and workplace is also easier for women than men. Also true. So what? Does it make women happy and men miserable? Not in my experience. I've seen happy men and unhappy women (and the other way around) in and outside relationships. That's life. And 'easy' or 'difficult' are also something to think about. Is starting a business easy? No, it's HARD. Is becoming a doctor easy? No, it's HARD. What's easy is pumping gas at a gas station, but not very satisfying. Again, coming from a personal angle here - but I've struggled with women in my late teens/early twenties. However I became fairly successful in many niches, including interpersonal communications. And I know 100% that should I find a new sexual partner, I will be able to do so and dating sites is the first place I will to go, because that's where women that look form men are. And I've also learned by observing that the most miserable people out there are women who blame 'men' for things and men who blame 'women'. In my 40+ years I've seen INDIVIDUAL people going bad things (both male and female), but despite what's being told do us every day - I've never seen bad gender behavior. Toxic masculinity or toxic femininity, 'men are terrible' or 'feminism has ruined women' - that's simply not true in my opinion. Great people are out there. You can find them. Just don't expect relationships to be easy - they aren't.
Because they get unlimited sex in the regular life too. It's thrown at them every day by random strangers.
> Men and women are different in many respects, and sex is one of them.
But we're discussing sex, read the thread again. You're trying to move the goal posts.
> Does that make her life easy and mens miserable? No.
Yes, it makes her life easier. She gets sex whenever she wants. Most men don't have that.
> If finding a new sexual partner in a bar every week was the most important thing in the world
Straw man. Nobody claimed it was.
You're jumping from one logical error to another. I think you're either arguing in bad faith or simply not thinking through what you type.