Why is wanting children the default state?
You should have good reasons for wanting something that costs 18 years and a million dollars. Not good reasons for not wanting it.
You should have good reasons for wanting something that costs 18 years and a million dollars. Not good reasons for not wanting it.
That doesn’t mean you have to, but it shouldn’t be surprising that it’s widely considered normal.
For most of human history it was the only way to ensure that a tribe/culture/country would survive. People used to die all the time, diseases would periodically wipe out large swaths of the population, and if people did not have enough children a country would be left in a weakened state, lacking enough workers for farms, and would likely be conquered by some neighboring country. Every culture that exists today formed under conditions that only allowed a small minority of people to choose not to reproduce, and cultural institutions and norms formed to encourage procreation.
Today we live in a very different world and we can (and should) rethink our attitude.
I thought I didn't want kids, then I realized I don't find work especially gratifying, and I heard lots of really interesting things from people who do have kids about how important and meaningful having them is to them; I'll find out soon enough. In hindsight, I was disturbed by how having kids worked out for many people around me, and I was afraid that I would make the same mistakes. I know that this doesn't have to be the case.
Maybe some people feel the same way about work, and maybe some couples work together. Maybe striving towards financial goals or living situations does the trick for other couples.
Wanting to reproduce is the default in your lineage, as for all of us.
Raising kids doesn’t cost a million dollars. That’s $55K per year per child. Maybe if you live in a high cost of living city, use expensive private schools, and pay full sticker price for their education. That’s hardly common though.
A more accurate number is about $240,000, with almost 1/3 of that being the cost of additional housing which varies greatly depending on where and how you live. The USDA has studies on this: https://www.usda.gov/media/blog/2017/01/13/cost-raising-chil...
dna -> animal -> self-conscious virtual machine
1. our dna's meaning in life is reproduction.
2. our animal's meaning in life is survival+reproduction
3. our self-conscious virtual machines meaning in life is somewhat unbounded, but at a high level probably boils down to negotiating the exploration/exploitation trade-off