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> if you run a hidden network at home that means your phone HAS to use a directed probe request to find that network which it will keep trying to do when you are out and about

That certainly isn't a theoretical requirement; the alternative is "if you run a hidden network, your devices will not connect to it automatically". You'd have to tell them to connect.

or you have your phone turn off wifi once it's out of range of your specified ssid(s). several apps do that; i use

https://github.com/j4velin/WiFi-Automatic

Exactly correct. Hidden network at home means your phone screams out for it all the time when not at home, because that's the only way it can find it.

If only there was a way to know the location of an SSID! /s

WPA needs help.