Open Source and Mental Health

Here is the thing: Bad code is written by good people as well. Be gentle and constructive with your critiques and criticism, and you might start getting good code from them before too long.

Good code is written by bad people too. Your project may very well have a prolific contributor who is driving away other people with their behavior. That person might even be you.

I'm someone who considered suicide many times and once attempted it. I've been that way since I was 6 and it never left me up till now (adulthood). It's still the likeliest way for me to go. I don't know if it's going to be in a year, 10 years or 20, but it is how it's going to be, unless I'm going to be hit by a car or something like that.

I appreciate author's intention to pay more attention to the health of others. However, wondering if something they said in a technical conversation caused the decision is pushing it a bit too far. fastasucan already touched on that, perhaps more eloquently than I can. I'll only add to that, that I'm fairly certain that I am this way due to genetic factors. This condition was present in my family before my birth and it's common for my immediate relatives to have various disorders of the nervous system. My own condition goes beyond just suicidal thoughts - during more intense episodes my body stops working (physically), just as you'd expect, given family background. I can tell you no technical conversation ever could push me to suicide, even though I care about technology a great deal.

Minor issue that I usually see in how people talk about suicide: I don't like it when someone talks about suicide as something that must be prevented at all times, presupposing that it is never a valid decision. It is patronizing. Sometimes it's a decision made under the influence of bad mental health, sometimes it's a rational decision. Sometimes it's done when life doesn't present itself as desirable. I don't share the axiom that life is invaluable. I don't like it when others try to impose it on me, just like just about anyone doesn't like proselytizing. I continue living, because everyday I choose to do so, not because I don't choose to commit suicide. In my life, living is not the default that happens in the absence of choice. It is a choice. And the other choice is valid as well. Right now I have shit to do, so I make the former choice. Someday I won't have that anymore and I will make the latter choice. I'm saying it at a time when I haven't had episodes for 2 years, my body is healthy and my mind is as sharp as it's ever been.

>I last communicated with jD91mZM2 in February, one month prior to his death. This communication was purely technical, regarding the aarch64 port of the Redox kernel. I can’t help but think, that perhaps this was a factor in his decision to choose death

Mental sickness is sickness. You cannot investigate it like you would a rational decision by a healthy person. The event or events pushing him towards suicide could have gone back years on years. People living an otherwise objectively great life can contemplate suicide.

Not taking away from the good message of taking care of others.

I had no idea he was so young, but it was GSoC so that makes sense.

All the best to his friends and family.

Struggling to see the connection to opensource specifically though... can happen anywhere, even in corporate world.

Perhaps could be the mistaken thought that opensource is a refuge from an intollerant industry. When that fails, you lose your house of cards self.

Perhaps the nature of the industry is use our brains and our thoughts are golden. So when a "self thought" happens we do not know how to isolate it and see we are the observer not the subject (negative or positive).

Yesterday I made a new release of my open-source project and it stressed me so much I could not sleep till 5am.

I tried to abandon the project 10 years ago, but then I get to many mails of people complaining about the lack of updates, which is even more stressful. Once you started an open source project, you can never get rid of it.

I had a friend who committed suicide and the friend and her family did not want the cause of death public.

The US cause of death is private and would be considered a privacy violation if disclosed by a healthcare provider.

Perhaps in the future, not speculating or disclosing non-public cause of death would still be possible as part of a helpful article.

I apologize if I misread and the cause was publicly known. Even though the contributor’s real name wasn’t used in the article, this can be really sensitive and painful if ever linked to the individual.