>> The idea that a wealthy person has a 'better' idea of how to spend their money ...
The word 'wealthy' can be taken out here. The said choice is being given to others too if we let go of the nitty-gritties.
I agree also that I have no reason to believe that donations should be entirely tax free. The optimal point may be at giving say 10% of the donation amount as rebates while the remaining 90% still is subject to taxes. May be that optimum is at 0% rebate also.
>> and provide a measure of fairness and equality in how decisions are made
Overall, I do agree to your point. Fairness in decision making is more important.
Equality however is different from fairness though. Equality and efficiency bear tradeoffs. See here: https://en.wikiversity.org/wiki/10_Principles_of_Economics
Also, I do not see how high earners being subjected to higher taxes is fair (to them). In my opinion, the very premise of taxes being proportional to income has flaws. See my comment here: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=27433973
>> is basically a way of using their wealth to obtain a bigger-than-one-vote say in how education spending works
If my viewpoint in the linked comment above of constant income tax is accepted, then the rich may not even have a bigger-than-one-vote to begin with. Overall, I agree to you though.