You Owe Me
thecut.com
thecut.com
From your choice of words and the fact that you wrote, I would gather that the story didn't leave you indifferent. So it achieved something.
What do you understand as "gimmick" and how could a "punchline" for that story look like for you?
I guess overall I have no complaints except that it could have been shorter. It seemed like it was building to a conclusion that never coalesced, which is okay for short fiction, but this one was sorta a slog.
Is the world depicted in the story any more absurd and implausible than the world we already experience? Is the system in the story all that different from systems we encounter in our lives? Perhaps a bit more explicit, but not really that different. Just a small tweak that makes things normally taken for granted feel alien and uncomfortable, great art!