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Comment by aphextron | Hacker News Reader

> People with issues need help, not bullying.

Absolutely. True mental health issues need clinical diagnosis and treatment. Things like CBT and antipsychotics have saved the lives of many people with psychological disorders, and modern mental health treatment is as valid as any other area of medical science.

But the type of "therapy culture" the parent describes is absolutely obnoxious, self serving, and all pervading among the upper and middle class. People have been so convinced, jeered on by social media, of this pseudo-Freudian nonsense about deep seated emotional traumas requiring therapy, that the real issue of mental health has been conflated with feeling annoyed about having to respond to work emails or being bummed about a breakup.

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Agreed, to me it seems that the "therapy culture" is missing a key element of actual therapy, working to address the root causes and cultivating a sense of agency and ability to change one's situation in life. Acknowledging one's own mental illness or troublesome state of mind is an excellent first step but it needs to progress past that.

What I'm seeing is a sort of "pop-therapy" where people self diagnose and then wallow in it looking for sympathy while not making sincere efforts to overcome what they have to deal with.

"people self diagnose and then wallow in it looking for sympathy while not making sincere efforts to overcome what they have to deal with"

The thing about depression is that it makes making an effort hard.

You can feel hopless, have no energy (even to get out of bed, shower, brush your teeth, or feed yourself), and be full of slef-recrimination and self-loathing on top of that. The more they don't do the worse they feel, leading to a worsening spiral.

It's easy to say that the sufferer should just make the effort to get out of this state, but it is the nature of depression to prevent that. The lucky ones can do it, but many others can't.

Saying to a depressed person that they should make the effort is like telling a gambling addict not to gamble, an alcoholic not to drink, or a person with an eating disorder to just eat less.

It's a lot easier said than done, and what keeps them from doing so often runs a lot deeper than people who make offhand dismissals realize.

Speaking as someone who has struggled depression, alcohol, eating, and other issues, I can confirm that the only solution is to make the effort to change.

Therapy and medication can help, but every solution comes down to individual effort, and nobody can do it for you.

It is important to recognize that falling into depression, addition, and neurotic behavior IS a personal failure, as only then can someone forgive themselves and seek change. Acceptance, accountability, and agency are key

> working to address the root causes and cultivating a sense of agency and ability to change one's situation in life.

Have you considered that people with issues might not even be capable of doing this? That they could have a very low sense of agency and maybe no idea about the real root causes of their issues, and they might have tried a thousand times to “fix” them without success?

>working to address the root causes and cultivating a sense of agency and ability to change one's situation in life.

>Have you considered that people with issues might not even be capable of doing this?

Nobody can do it for them. Friends, medication, and therapy can help, but progress is impossible without individual intention and agency.

Mental health isn't like a broken leg that someone can fix for you.

And, it's often the case that even the smallest efforts can launch people on an escape trajectory from learned helplessness.

> and all pervading among the upper and middle class.

Do you have any numbers/stats or links to backup this claim? What does “all pervading” mean here according to you?

Also, please don’t be so quick to dismiss or trivialize other people’s issues. Even if to you, from the outside, those issues seem petty or superficial, they could be incredibly bad and debilitating for the people suffering from them.

It is coordinated and strategic, they work together to normalize this shit. They've successfully weaponized their mental health. It is turning people into vampires that suck the life and resources of family and fiends.

It seems like everyone is articulating ‘emotional hostage taking’. This is actually a very very common thing amongst Asian (all of Asia) parents. It usually goes something like this:

Look at how hard your parents work for you, and here you are not doing this and that, or doing something that don’t match our values.

And this is a constant lifelong guilt-burden that they utilize. It’s almost as if they feel entitled to something just because they had to do stuff in life ... like work a blue collar job.

The stuff that the new American generation is doing is a remix of that age old form of abuse.

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