>Perhaps there is some disconnect in how different parties of the discussion see the whole thing. For me this sounds a lot like "you're holding it wrong". What background are you coming from and what languages/programming environments you are familiar with? I get the impression that you don't have much general purpose programming background and somehow tend to assume that people are using "wrong workflows" due to being just stupid or something. But this is how it comes off to me, I think you mean something else, but I don't know what that is.
No, you're not stupid. You've correctly identified current flaws in the tools, and the community tries to lead you to the tools that are known to work well in spite of the issues. We need to work a little bit more on the other tools to make them as good, but large parts of the community are just not the right people to work on that problem. It's not a design problem, it's fixable, but you just have more people who know how to make new differential equation solvers than you have people who can compile a binary, so the tooling ecosystem moves at a different pace from the scientific packages. This is changing with the help of some commercialization aspects though, but it is something we have to be cognizant of.