To me, this feels even more depressing, because now it reads like I can’t even do anything to fix it without having or being able to obtain an insane amount of influence.
I mean this in the kindest possible way, but why did you ever start thinking you could change the entire world without an insane amount of influence? There are typically two 'solutions' btw:
- Focus on happiness for yourself and those around you, changing the area of concern from "the entire world" to "a piece of the world".
- Find a group of likeminded people and together try to effect the change you seek. Even if you don't completely succeed, you will probably improve the lives of many along the way (including your own).
FWIW, whenever I start feeling like that I reread the book "Meditations" by Marcus Aurelius. It is surprisingly relevant to todays society for a book that is 2000 years old. :)
They were tired of being on the road and on location and not together. That was not conducive to having kids or raising them.
If you look up the history, that show was the "Star Wars" of its era in terms of revolutionizing an industry. It is the first TV show made with film and archival quality footage which did not involve live acting twice a day for East and West Coasts with cheap temporary footage shown for the time zones in between.
I wish I could be more help, but the reality is that I am currently behind the 8 ball on this issue myself and desperately trying to escape. Posting wisdom for free on Hacker News while everyone tells me I'm a fool for thinking my blog writing should be something that can support me and also tells me my gender is absolutely not a factor in my intractable poverty is one of my biggest beefs in my life.
I post less than I used to here mostly because I'm mostly well and it literally doesn't pay and doesn't result in the professional connections I need to develop a career because most men are hesitant to email me unless they are hoping I will sleep with them. And when I say stuff like that, no matter how nice I am about it, I tend to get kicked in the teeth by multiple people.
I'm mostly well. I'm tired of the entire world telling me I'm a loon who made up the whole thing about having a form of CF and getting better and I'm tired of thousands and thousands of people watching me starve and acting like I'm some nutcase for not liking it and for thinking it is unjust and so on.
I'm doing my best to figure out how to walk away from Hacker News and from blogging entirely and do something the world thinks it's okay for a woman to earn money from, like start a clothing line.
I'm trying to solve my own problems and helping others solve theirs for free "out of the goodness of my heart" like the world expects me to do because I'm a woman or a mom or a former homemaker or whatever is one of the really amazingly bad habits I desperately need to break somehow because, no, other people aren't going to see the light and change and treat me better.
So I just need to stop doing nice things for other people which are never going to come back to me if one can judge by nearly twelve years of being regularly kicked in the teeth so far, with absolutely no end in sight.
You make me think. I appreciate that.
I hope you come to some arrangement in life that's satisfying and secure for you.
It's pithy, but this quote comes from Viktor Frankl, who knew a thing or two about hopelessness:
"When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves."