I don’t think I was severely depressed at the time, and your note about “just do it” seems valid. I once called EAP (employee assistance program) to ask for help reading email. Their advice, which I now practice: break down the process into discrete steps, with self-care in between.

For example: 1. Acknowledge I want to open this email. 2. Turn away and breathe deeply for ten breaths. 3. Turn back and click. 4. Turn away and breathe, do push-ups, whatever your temporary escape is that Diane take you completely out of the process.

Cold showers help build the confidence to do things I will otherwise avoid for longer than is healthy. The act of stepping in and minimizing thought as I turn the handle means sometimes I’m already gasping before I have time to dither, and the suffocating blanket of fear has dissolved.