1. tap a Google search result link
2. tap the tiny "i" icon on the left side of the stupid AMP page header to display the actual URL of the page I'm trying to navigate to
3. tap the displayed URL itself in the AMP header
4. close reddit's "this looks better in the app!" bottom banner
5. scroll down and tap "VIEW ALL X COMMENTS"
So fast. So usable.
On the bright side, this rigmarole has really done wonders for my productivity because I've simply stopped bothering.