Does anyone have experience with a similar issue and how did you solve it?
I'd love any ideas, reading material, youtube videos, ways to break down the problem, etc.
Here's what not to do:
* Enter into a (lengthy) explanation of why you thought you were right, because you heard it from X, or read it at Y, and go back to find and share your (wrong) sources of misinformation. ("I saw a documentary on how the moon landing was faked, and didn't realize that it was fabricated because the people in the documentary said it was true.")
* Explain that lots of people share the same (wrong) view, that it's a popular misconception or suchlike. ("Lots of people agree that the moon landing was faked, there are many books and TV programs about that.")
* Explain that, had certain other things happened differently, you would have been correct. ("When I said that COVID would never spread outside of China, I was assuming that the blockade in Wuhan was 100% effective.")
* Say that, while you were wrong in the current situation, your assertion would have been correct in various other situations. ("When I said object oriented languages don't allow multiple inheritance, I thought we were talking about Java and not C++").
For me, I've always respected people who admit they're wrong. It shows they know they're capable enough generally to show weakness and know it won't affect them negatively.
Basically, if admitting your mistake doesn't shed light onto anything but the fact that you made one mistake, it won't negatively affect you in a context in which you wish to be working.
If you're good at what you do, nobody who matters will not be convinced you're not by a single error. Additionally, if you have an area in which you recognize you need growth, humbly admitting that and taking steps to grow also looks amazing on you (again, to the people who matter).
I hope these points of perspective can help. It's anecdotal, but they're things I've re-discovered numerous times in my own and the professional lives of those around me whom I respect.
Two, say "as far as I know" or "with the data I have now" and follow with your opinion. It makes backtracking much easier.
Third, when you express an opinion, communicate what it is based on. It makes for much more interesting conversations.
At least, those are my observations on others and myself.
It's an entire book about the cognitive experience in the moment of being wrong. It's dotted with examples of how humans hate to be wrong and how they deal (for better or worse) with their aversion to being wrong.
I don't have a problem admitting I'm wrong (I think I did when I was younger, but I've been wrong a lot since so...). However, I find that this type of deep, cerebral meditation on what it means to us to be "wrong" really helps later on when you're dealing with it in real time.
I like to play devil's advocate. I think it's also important to acknowledge that your opinions are not you. Separating them from your identity allows them to change more easily.
https://moveyourcompanyforward.com/2020/11/03/four-ways-to-o...
Second, bear in mind that in a just world you would be rewarded for the way beautiful people are rewarded for being beautiful, it’s just not that way. So consider it a matter something like personal hygiene. You do it because it’s good for you, not because you’ll get rewarded for it, necessarily.
You don’t need videos or reading material. All you need to do is acknowledge the situation, explain very briefly that you were wrong, and acknowledge how. That’s it. Gostsamo below makes a brilliant point I have also found life-saving over the years which is to express things as explicitly your opinion: “as far as I know..” etc. Not only does it help you cover your ass but it also reworks your own mind to keep your own arrogance in check.
My final thought is that I like to do the opposite. When I see people doing something that I think is genuinely good I love calling them out and being their cheerleader. I think maybe on a day-to-day basis and especially in forums like this one it is much easier to make casually cruel remarks criticizing people than to notice when they are doing something right and honor them for it.
The degree to which it's difficult to admit you're wrong is probably aligned with the manner in which you asserted whatever it was you were wrong about. If you dug in your heels, or were assertive without good reason... it might be the posture that is as hard to back down from, as much as the thing you were trying to convey.
If you assume the best of someone else's effort to communicate, and you step in incrementally into what you're trying to convey, it's easier to back off. If you've wholesale essayed a long and intricate point, you've also built the hill on which you're standing, and may topple from.
Being aware of the scope of what you're trying to convey can also make it easier to create loosely coupled assertions, each of which are more flexible than if you've tightly coupled (in language) the things you're trying to tie together.
And, of course, being aware of your ego demands. If things are rising, why? If you're hot, why? If you're speaking, have you listened? Using mindfulness to see things as they are may help you before you even do the thing you may need to admit was wrong, later.
Years ago when I was young an older, wiser, man told me "You can learn something from everyone" after listening to me complain about someone who "didn't know shit about what I was doing but constantly pestered me with their advice".
My first reaction was to think the old guy was wrong because I'd met a lot of dumbasses by then. But after pondering that for a few days it occurred to me that if he was right I'd missed out on a lot of opportunities to learn and the only way I could prove him wrong was to look for what I could learn from everyone I met, and I hadn't been doing that.
The very next day that guy who I'd been complaining about came over again and started giving me advice while I was working and one bit of the advice he gave me that day made me a shit ton of money for a lot of years.
But since you asked I'll tell you. At the time I did modifications on vehicles (Ford Econoline Vans) for Q4 and Q5 quadriplegics to drive. I'd cut out and lower the floors and cut off the metal roof and put a fiberglass shell on it, like a camper or shuttle bus has. I'd been doing that since a was 14 year old kid with my father who was a custom car builder and I took over my father's business doing that when I was 20 years old.
So, I made a "roll cage" the way my father made it out of rectangular steel tube because those fiberglass tops are pretty unsafe without them. And that's what I was working on when he offered his advice, which was to have a mutual friend who built race cars make those for me the same way he made his race car roll cages, out of round steel tube bent with an hydraulic tube bender.
The guy who made the bent tubes for me could to that in a fraction of the time it took me to cut and bend and weld that rectangular steel tube. I still had to design and install those reinforcements but it cost much less to have them prefabbed and took far less time to install them and I got paid the same and the design was stronger.
By that time I had done many favors for that guy who recommended that because he owned a race car, a "Figure Eight" car, that I donated many hours of my time to keep him racing. So, yeah, all things considered he was compensated quite well because I sent him work too.
We both did good.
https://tenor.com/view/oops-my-bad-caught-eating-gif-1146550...
So try to laugh it off, and move on. Works good on team's morale too.
Doing this is like having a super-power that makes you look both super confident and trustworthy.
There’s literally nothing to break down.
Either you admit, or you dont.
For instance you can admit that you probably asked now for some way to avoid the problem. By moving responsibility from your shoulders to some “expert” on youtebe etc.