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Why is that more novel than, say, intra-bank transactions?

You can't make a huge return holding USD. We just need to pretend this is real adoption to recruit more to the ponzi.

Those intra-bank transactions that are still done via FTP, take 2-3 days to settle, and require owning a bank in order to participate?

Yes, I suppose there's no room for improvement there.

If I wanted that, I would be using something like Venmo, instead of Bitcoin.

>a decentralized settlement layer is probably where most of the value is anyway.

Why?

Graph theory. A purely centralized topology has significant problems with fault tolerance, trust, and control. However you do not need a hyperconnected graph to achieve strong fault tolerance and protect against a single node with full control.

The internet itself is a good example. It strikes a balance between decentralization and efficiency through the use of ISPs as supernodes.