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Comment by rich_sasha | Hacker News Reader

One particularly funny side effect is that the narrator needs to read out a comprehensive disclaimer.

I was once on holiday and with US TV, and saw a few times an ad for performance enhancement for older gentlemen. The ad showed an older couple, who first are not very happy, then much happier with each other, frollicking in the long grass and disappearing off shot etc.

While that was happening, the narrator was reading in an impassioned, but also somewhat undulated voice: "side effects include headaches, blurred vision, hypertension, liver failure, paralysis and death" [I can't quite remember the list, basically it went from minor to death, as most drugs do].

For someone not at all used to serious drugs being advertised on prime-time TV, this was quite a thing to see.

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It can be even funnier because they only need to read the side effects if they say what the drug is supposed to treat. Because of that, you get the drug ads that never list side effects, but you're left wondering what the drug actually does after seeing a bunch of people running through fields and hearing a bunch of vague things about a better life.

It’s bizarre even as an American who is used to it. The most amusing thing is they’re clearly running out of good ideas for names. The names are getting stranger every year. They’re basically just gibberish now.

It has to be a branding/patenting thing around uniqueness. I couldn't imagine trying to come up with new website names on a daily basis that would be expected to stick in a consumers mind.

There are whole consultancies around picking drug names.

The name isn't supposed to make an actual claim about effectiveness--you can't call it "cancercurazine"--but they often try for something vaguely suggestive: Viagra sounds like it makes you 'vital', Wellbutrin makes you feel well, Zyban keeps you away from nicotine, etc.

I've heard--but can't find a source saying--that this is why varenicline is sold under two different names: someone felt like 'champix' was too suggestive.

The big pharmas have a long list of gibberish names that has been created. These lists have already been vetted for uniqueness, trademark ability, etc. When a new product needs a name, they turn to these lists.

Like "Rebelius" - a diabetes treatment for all the rebels out there.

Otezla (O-Tesla pronounced) for arthritis. No ac current involved

It reminds me of the "Happy Fun Ball" ad parody on SNL years ago.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GmqeZl8OI2M

My favorite part is when they tell you "Don't take Oprexmia* if you are allergic to Oprexmia".

* My first attempt at a made up drug name was Xaljenzia (my thought process was they seem to love the letters X, J and Z) but apparently there is a Xaljenz so I ended up with this.

I guess these would be considered as proper nouns thereby making them invalid Scrabble words?? Otherwise, hit a tripple word score, and essentially do a mic drop with these when played.

There are other fun examples of these extremes. WebMD will pretty much always suggest cancer as a cause of whatever subject you researched. Most of the pharma ads will include "death" as a possible side effect. however, a possible death side effect was much less of a death knell than when olestra had to include anal leakage as a possible side effect.

It was a culture shock to me as an American that moved back to the US. Turned on regular TV only to see shows constantly interrupted by commercials. After that I put the STB in the closet and use streaming services.

Those ads are inadvertently revealing -- they make it plain that it's a medical and pharmaceutical _industry_. Let the patient be warned not only of side effects but to the nature of that industry.

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