Kafkatrap

This is an especially insidious problem in the field of domestic abuse. I was once in an abusive relationship with a woman who later turned out to have a Borderline Personality Disorder. She managed to convince herself, all her friends and family, and eventually me for a while, that I was actually abusing her and she was an innocent victim. Much skilful manipulation and gaslighting covered up the fact that she was the one gaining all the benefits from this abusive relationship while I was suffering tremendous psychological distress. Amongst other things, there are many books and "behavioural models" that are written in such a way that no matter what a husband says or does, it is always proof that he is an abuser. If your partner starts reading books by Lundy Bancroft, it is time to seek the exit because nothing will convince her that you have not committed the crimes that she has invented in her head.