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Comment by 3np | Hacker News Reader

Is it safe to assume that you're in NA?

I recognize that it's way more culturally accepted with random conversations with strangers in the USA (something I really do appreciate with US culture whenever I have visited, BTW) than what I'm used to back home.

I don't think I've ever seen it happening in all my life over here. 99.9% of people will assume you're a creep/dangerously deranged individual and/or flat-out ignore you. There pretty much needs to be in a social context, preferably with alcohol, for people to accept being talked to by strangers.

Not that it should stop anyone from trying as I think it's a positive thing, but the barrier is a lot higher.

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I’m from Melbourne, Australia and was recently in the United States. I definitely found American strangers far more likely to randomly struck up conversations with you in public spaces. I spent just over 5 months there between California and Colorado, and was constantly caught off guard by strangers trying to stop and talk to me - usually older adults.

Not wanting to stereotype too generally, but from talking to other Aussies about it we chalked it up to a higher level of self-confidence over there.

I know I definitely struggle to talk to strangers, though in part because you really just don’t know what you’re going to get sometimes! It was the part of travelling that I thoroughly enjoyed as a young 20-something. I was thrust into situations (hostels, bars, etc.) that forced me to overcome my shyness.

Time is an illusion. Science tells us it's linear, measured in precise nano-seconds. But humans measure time differently, it's based more on the depth of connection we have to others. You can have a life-changing event in a day, or waste away doing nothing for a decade. The more connected one is to the surrounding people and environment, the denser and more fulfilling time becomes.

I found that very poetic and beautiful.

> but from talking to other Aussies about it we chalked it up to a higher level of self-confidence over there.

What do you mean exactly?

Not GP, but: That Americans are blocked from interactions they would otherwise like to have by their own social anxiety and low self-confidence to a lesser extent.

I'm also from Melbourne, and have lived in California for fifteen years. I put what you describe down to how often people move in America vs Australia.

In Australia, many people tend to stay in the same city for most of their lives, whereas America is full of people who go to high school in one state, university in another, and work in more - even those who stay in the same state often move cities (America has way more cities with way fewer people) they are constantly making new friends.

This means things like: in my 20s in Melbourne, parties tended to consist of friends who've known each other for a long time. In America, the host often didn't know everyone at the party because the invitation is open.

Canberra is actually a little more similar to America - most who live there came from somewhere else, so the social situation is much more open.

I think the population density matters, it's not uniform across the US. In larger cities I think the norm is more to keep to yourself and not to engage random strangers in conversation. I wouldn't be surprised if that pattern is common in other parts of the world as well.

Population density may be a factor but I think it's also cultural.

E.g. I spent 2+ decades in the deep south and "southern hospitality" is definitely a thing. I then moved (back) to Seattle and conversation with strangers was/is much more difficult.

Spend some time in small-town Japan and Seattle will feel like a beach party town in that sense ;)

Loads of hospitality and warmth once you break through the ice, but the first steps are hard

> I recognize that it's way more culturally accepted with random conversations with strangers in the USA (something I really do appreciate with US culture whenever I have visited, BTW) than what I'm used to back home.

Very interesting. Where are you from that the US is comparatively more open to stranger conversation?

Coming from latin america where it is the norm to end up in lively conversation with any random stranger if you share the same space for more than a minute, I've always found the US culture extremely disconnected. In the US you can stand in line at (say) the DMV for an hour and nobody talks to anyone.

I realized a bit after writing that that Latin countries and in general around the equator are probably maybe even more so :)

Northern Europe and Eastern Asia. I don’t think I’ve even observed such an interaction (outside of social settings like bars and events) for the past couple of years even before COVID.

Someone mentioned population density but sunlight and latitude seem to affect culture around this even more so.

Sun and light seem to bring out the extrovert side of the populace. To the extent that Scandinavians are extroverts with strangers, it’s generally in spring and summer.

This really depends where you are in the US. The entire Northeast metropolitan area is not stranger-talk friendly for example.

Or Seattle

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