The thing is: TB docks are _very_ complicated devices, consisting of multiple subsystems each running their own firmware. With the Lenovo dock (and I assume the Dell's are not much different) there have been numerous firmware updates over the past years. Updating them usually requires a windows application, the Linux fwupd can only do some (but not all!) firmware updates for the dock.
Anyway, what I am trying to explain here is that you should check if you have updated all parts of the dock's firmware. I recommend to use the Windows tools for that, don't trust fwupd to be able to update all parts of the dock.
I also suffered from the screen randomly going black, but that turned out to be a firmware issue with my display (LG 43" 4k). As it turns out: firmware on a display can also be updated. I needed to connect my laptop through a USB-C cable to the monitor, then run an update tool from LG. The update tool was of course windows only, and even buggier than the Lenovo dock firmware updater, but it did work! No more screen blackouts.
EDIT: I'll also check for a Windows tool, to see if it offers more updates.
I asked about this because I'm not sure your issue is totally related to using a thunderbolt dock. Laptops generally require a lot of OEM developed drivers to fully function. It is very possible you would not experience these issues with Ubuntu which is fully supported by Dell on the XPS.
With my 9300 I use the dell U2720Q monitor (27" 4K with built-in USB C hub). It does 4K@60Hz along with USB 3.1 data over the single USB C, non-thunderbolt cable provided (via HBR3/DP1.4 as mentioned elsewhere) in the box and basically everything worked perfectly immediately and I've had zero issues. Dell/Windows is still "not fantastic" at other laptop things, or at least not as good as apple, but one of the better experiences on the windows side in my opinion.
Relevant to the OP, I would add that when I did go to get a longer cable to connect the 9300 to the monitor, I ran into all of the insane issues described. "WTF, every cable looks identical but support wildly different features???" You have to become an mini-expert in USB technology to know what the hell you're looking for, no idea how non-technical people can even do it.
Thanks for the cable length tip! Hadn't considered this and am using a 1,20m+ cable -- will definitely try a shorter one.
I should also point out that I use an XPS 9570.
And of course you are right: A single anecdote is just that, but a few more may paint a rather well-rounded picture.
Cheers
I did install the latest firmware when I bought mine (early 2020) and was able to through Linux. I also had a few BIOS updates I had applied before I even bought the dock and do recall a few of the change log entries mentioning TB dock fixes. Perhaps the same will be true for your machine.
Yes, I am checking those.
Also with you on the firmware development process. Just wished I hadn't been such an early adopter ...