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I think most people who are interested in male/female equity would not tell you that men and women are identical.

Any measure along the lines of (1) comes to us through the filter of a world who narratives and institutions have been shaped around the abilities and preferences of men, such that it comes off as a little obtuse to use them to justify disparate outcomes, which is most often what is happening when this comes up.

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I suppose it depends what circles you run in. I can name thirty people without pausing for breath that I know who believe that not only are men and women interchangeable, but that it is ethically monstrous to even assign shades of "masculine" or "feminine" to any behavior, as that implies that more of either men or women display that behavior. Unfortunately, I have no way of knowing how common that way of thinking is- I thought it was constrained to academic and artistic circles in major urban cities, but these ideas have begun to crop up everywhere. Perhaps you're right, and they are the exception, rather than the rule, but they also seem to be the ones I keep getting caught up in discussions of male/female equity.

I think it's better to avoid casual gender stereotyping of behaviors, but I have to raise my eyebrows a bit at the notion that there is a large contingent of people who think it is "ethically monstrous." I suppose it might come down to circles though as you say. Good luck out there.

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