I'm curious where you are reading about Paul Pelosi's stock picks. Regardless, so what? He has no business owning and/or trading shares of companies the person he shares a bed with has influence over.
I have no position on your 2nd sentence. I agree in philosophy but acknowledge the details are complicated.
Even if you take a pretty hard-line attitude about members of Congress being prohibited from doing things like trading their own portfolios, it's hard to make a cogent argument that Paul Pelosi, who is by all measures a private citizen, should be restricted from trading specific stocks.
No it's not. If you grant that Nancy Pelosi should be treated similarly to a corporate insider, then it is pretty obvious that her spouse should be treated like an insider's would be.