Though `python -m build` only works _if_ you use something like flit or setup.py in the backend to do build the package and hence why you can set flit as a build-backend.
So yes, flit is one of the latest tool, and yes it is one of the things that push for the ability to use pyproject.toml+python3 -m build, you just seem to miss some subtleties of the toolchain.