Ask HN: How can I be a better community member? | Hacker News Reader

Ask HN: How can I be a better community member?

HN has shown me I can be pretty devisive. Some comments getting many upvotes, some comments getting a wrist slap from Dong himself. I've read the HN guidelines several times. How can I be less inflammatory, more emotionally stable in presenting my thoughts, and more uplifting? This goes beyond just HN, I've had issues at work, and I'm successful in spite of these traits, not because of them. Any thoughts?

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There's too much divisiveness in the world today. This is a time for people to put more effort into building each other up and contributing to harmony. I don't mean being so open that we listen to nonsense, but probably enough to turn away from ignorance and don't give it air, rather than locking horns. In the early days of the Internet, maybe on UseNet, there was an essay they posted on forums regularly titled something like "Don't feed the trolls", meaning that long drawn-out arguments do nothing but hurt the community. Other forms of this are "Don't wrestle with a Pig. You just get dirty and the pig likes it." I don't post that much, but before doing so, I ask myself if what I'm saying contributes to the discussion or helps someone. Another thing to remember is to treat other people with respect, no matter who they are. Everyone has blind spots, but there are very smart people on here, I appreciate listening and learning, and kindness makes it more enjoyable.

Personally I try to avoid low quality contributions (hot takes, unsubstantiated opinions, reddit-style clever quips, karma whoring, etc)

Contribute if you believe you have an out-of-the-box perspective that adds to the discussion. Avoid "me-too" or "actually you're wrong" type of comments unless - again - you can add some new factual commentary; seek to enrich others rather than being motivated to stroke your own ego by putting others down.

Sometimes, one does not in fact have something meaningful to say despite urges to the contrary. Learning when not to speak is also an art. So is learning to listen and internalizing points of view that you may not agree with. A good rule of thumb that serves me well is to always assume everything is grayscale. There's always some dimension or nuance you're not considering.

Mind you, I'm not accusing you of any specific behavior, just speaking in generalities.

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