But seriously, we expect people to have a second computer around when doing anything involved with their hardware. New computer? Need to create a bootable flash drive with an OS. WiFi not working on Linux? Need to download stuff and move it to your machine. Monitor/ethernet/mouse/GPU/anything not working? Plug it into a different machine. Network settings borked? Ping it from the second machine. We're used to this.
And Apple, surprisingly, expects your other machine to be a Mac. Because why wouldn't it be a Mac. They expect you to use a Mac or an iOS device to verify your identity, to contact their support comfortably, AND to restore firmware on your other devices. They expect you to use their ecosystem of devices and software. You may not like it, and that's why you probably don't have a Mac, but it's consistent and it makes sense in the context of their philosophy.