Ask HN: How do you manage the anxiety of losing good job?
Lay offs are common in software industry. I would like to know how do you manage anxitey because of it, specifically when you're looking to raise family.
A professional therapist is trained to help with that. That's tricky, because you need to find a therapist who clicks with you. (It's weirdly like dating, actually.) And it requires you to be willing to trust them, because they're going to ask you to look at your problems in unexpected ways. They're not going to be able to give you One Simple Trick that solves this problem -- you're plenty smart, and if there were One Simple Trick you'd already have found it. The whole point is being able to get to that difficult point where you're able to reconsider the whole question from a new angle.
If you don't wish to/can't afford/just can't get a professional, you can try to mimic the process yourself. Try to put away the notion that you have this one specific issue to solve and everything else is just fine. Acknowledge that this is a genuine and real fear, and then ask what mechanisms you use to deal with your other genuine and real fears. Ask why they're not working on this.
Use another person you trust -- perhaps your spouse -- to ask you these questions. Let the conversation wander, especially keeping an eye on things that make you uncomfortable. Press on them, gently, and see what happens.
Sorry if this seems like this isn't very helpful. The really critical part is that I'm noticing that you're asking us, and noting that we don't have any simple special insight into this. We're all just getting through our days, too. So to solve this problem you have to try to reframe it and see if you can find a totally different approach, by looking at it from a new angle.
Lastly, keep your eyes and ears open. If your company is struggling change jobs on your terms before you take the hit. Good luck.