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Comment by tootie | Hacker News Reader

I'm a senior manager and also a hardcore introvert. In my many years of office work I would actively avoid having lunch around anyone from the office as much as possible. Lunch is my only alone time when I'm crammed in an office all day.

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Super introvert as well, I like my solo time in the office, but some times to make new connections, learn about a new part of the business these small distractions are a good break from the regular.

Lunch time is a me time for me as well. People no longer ask me if I go with them. Many times when I found colleagues eating in the same restaurant, I would just say hello and still eat on my own at a different table. When I have too much social contact my mind goes into overdrive and I cannot focus on anything, so I need time alone to "decompress". At some workplaces it was difficult for people to understand that unfortunately.

How do you balance being a manager, a position that requires heavily dealing and engaging with people, with being an introvert?

One viewpoint I like.

Extroverts gain energy from social interactions. Introverts lose energy. The inverse for time alone.

I’m introverted.

But can be quite social, and even enjoy it. However I absolutely have to have down time after to recharge from it.

I am an introvert and absolutely hate group behaviors and nonsensical smalltalk around lunch time. However I have no issue being a manager and talking to people on 1:1s or with a clean agenda and subject to discuss.

>hate group behaviors and nonsensical smalltalk around lunch time.

honestly im not sure how you can do well as a manager without some tolerance for that kind of thing

If you're managing people with a similar tolerance level then it's an asset.

but you don't get to decide who you manage

Introvert manager here.

Work is hard. Dealing with people is tiring, but I am also skilled at it and it is tremendously fulfilling to help people grow and achieve their personal goals. Some days I really really don't want to have my 1:1s, but that is okay. Being an introvert doesn't mean that I hate interacting with people. It just means that it is somewhat tiring.

I also basically never had a lunch with anyone. Only when everyone travels somewhere as a team building event, but then I do not talk during lunch. Not even as kid with my family, I would always read a book during lunch rather than talking

I completely agree. I have to talk to these people all day, now I'm supposed to talk to them while I eat? Never mind the fact it isn't socially acceptable to actually talk while eating.

I just want to walk, read something interesting and eat.

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