It's not zero-sum. Having a strong military allows you to pursue your (peaceful) interests without interference from others who disagree with your agenda.
Yes but spending as much as the next 10 countries combined is not needed.
Idealism and global geopolitics don’t mix. There’s no supranational organization to mediate disputes between countries, at least yet. Without that, brute force/power projection is how it works.
Even with as much as we spend, China is a formidable military threat.