"But does your social circle not include other female friends that you could discuss the optics of this situation with?"

Respectfully, this shouldn't be on the person from whom advice is being sought, but on the asker.

"Or better yet, be honest with the female friend that you wanted to advice, pointing out what she had done before and expressing your apprehension in providing critical feedback?"

If someone asked me this, I'd probably think they used hashtags like #redpill or were into bashing Ellen Pao or something. It comes across as, "you can't say anything these days without being offensive, men in tech are soooo mistreated."