Ask HN: How do you leave a job? | Hacker News Reader

Ask HN: How do you leave a job?

17 pointsthirtythree34 comments

I've worked in the same job for 10 years. It always seems like I have a few tracks of work ongoing at the same time. Some of them I prefer more than others and some are closer to completion than others. Some might be new pieces of work that are just starting and could turn out to be interesting (but not always).

When I consider looking at other jobs, I always find myself thinking it's not the right time to leave. Other people seem to move jobs a lot more than me.

Do people generally just abandon the work in progress that they're doing or do they finish it out?

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I'm one of those people that move jobs more often than you do (roughly once every 2-3 years).

I prefer to arrange an in-person meeting with my direct manager. If that's not possible, Zoom/other video platform.

If it's impossible to get facetime in some capacity, phonecall/email is a last resort.

Always on a Friday. Ideally in the afternoon (3PM).

I rip the bandaid off quickly and tell them I've decided to move on and X day will be my last with the company (don't bury the lede). I thank them for being great. I talk a little about why I'll miss the team and company overall.

Generally, the manager will want to notify the team. If it's going to be more than a week in the future, I tell my closest work colleagues and ask them to keep it quiet for the "formal" announcement.

We then start the handover process. Document anything major that's fuzzy. Finish anything that you can. Don't be one of those people that coast for the next 2-4 weeks and do nothing.

During the exit meeting, I never throw shade on the company. SHUT YOUR MOUTH. There is no benefit to YOU by unloading all the issues with a company. Sure, it might help them, but you will be leaving a bad taste in their mouth, which may come back around in the future (be selfish - shut up). I outline my reasons (almost always it's money, remote work options, or leaving to join a scrappy startup with a nice equity package).

If you get a counter offer (after resigning, not during a normal salary negotiation), do not take it. You will regret it, trust me.

> If you get a counter offer (after resigning, not during a normal salary negotiation), do not take it. You will regret it, trust me.

I got a counter-offer, took it, stayed for 3 more years, never regretted it.

Also, I complain A LOT to my managers about what sucks in the company. They seem to like having someone open and honest when talking to them.

> I got a counter-offer, took it, stayed for 3 more years, never regretted it.

After you had already resigned? Glad it worked for you. I had a horror show and have met several people in similar situations.

> Also, I complain A LOT to my managers about what sucks in the company. They seem to like having someone open and honest when talking to them.

Sounds like you work for a very decent company. Do you think that's a better strategy than STFU (not being a dick, I actually would like to know your opinion)?

> After you had already resigned? Glad it worked for you. I had a horror show and have met several people in similar situations.

Out of curiosity, what can go badly? They offer a counter and then fire you a couple months later, after they've found a more "loyal" (or just cheaper) replacement?

> Sounds like you work for a very decent company.

The manager was a very decent and reasonable human being. He's since left and I wouldn't try it with his replacement - the new guy is detached and doesn't really give a shit about what's going on, he certainly wouldn't bother with trying to retain me with counteroffers.

> Out of curiosity, what can go badly? They offer a counter and then fire you a couple months later, after they've found a more "loyal" (or just cheaper) replacement?

Definitely they question loyalty. In general all companies have an expectation of loyalty from employees they will throw away at a moment’s notice without any remorse

I leave jobs for two reasons: abusive employers/coworkers ot money. Because of this I would never accept a counter-offer, obviously I wouldnt stay in an abusive alsituation, and if another company sees me as more valuable than my current employer then the fear of losing me won’t change my soon to be former employer’s view.

>Definitely they question loyalty.

It's ridiculous to expect loyalty to a company.

My expectation about a counter offer is, they just need to keep you until they can find a replacement for you.

That said it all depends on your reasons for leaving. If it is environment only, then definitely no. If it is more money maybe, but expect to be high on the layoff list should the economy turn.

It was in a very hot market (hot specialty at the time in Eastern Europe, where there's a ton of hiring pretty much no firing yet - we're the destination where a lot of the outsourced work from Western Europe and the US ends up in). So, they didn't retain me with counteroffer only because I had specific project knowledge, but also because realistically hiring a replacement would be a pain.

Same here. Counter offer, took it, still there 4 years later.

I didn't know what to expect when I posted the question but this is really good advice. Thank you.

Took the words right out of my mouth. This is the right take.

> There is no benefit to YOU by unloading all the issues with a company

I took a bunch of Psych classes in college, and one of the experiments I retained is that if you ask someone to recall their time on a long "thing" (e.g. a job, a relationship, etc.), they place much more emphasis on memories from the beginning and end of it than they do on the middle. So it's not just first impressions that are important, but last impressions too. This goes for pretty much everything btw. Same applies to sales calls, interviews, etc.

To leave my last job, I publicly shared my resignation letter with many people at the company. It outlined the ways I felt our employees were being negatively treated, why the company had became a bad place to work, and why I felt they were making terrible business decisions. Sure, it wasn't the best move for my career. But, it wasn't illegal. And it felt pretty damned amazing.

haha it probably felt good but I guess toy can never go back there?

Why friday at 3pm?

I have always struggled with this issue as it feels like you're abandoning your team and leaving them hanging. Especially when you like and respect your teammates. At my last job I was the sole developer in the company and responsible for a major project for our biggest client. My job previous to that I worked as a consultant and was the PM/main developer on two different projects. The guilt I felt in leaving was real and was something I struggled with to even accept the new offers.

That being said you have to do what is in your best interest. In both cases, the move I made was just what I needed at the time and improved my outlook and passion moving forward. To make up for some of the guilt, I worked like hell the last two weeks, cleaning up as many outstanding issues as I could and documenting everything I could. I also made myself available for questions after I left, though you want to be careful about committing too much time there.

And guess what...in both situations the company moved on and eventually got past the initial hurdles of replacing me. It's likely the same will happen in your case and you'll realize you spent way too much time worrying about something that should you decide to leave, is no longer your responsibility.

In the words of Kelly Clarkson, "Just walk away".

A job can possibly last for a hundred years. Do you want to spend a hundred years on the same thing? CAN you spend a hundred years on the same thing?

Your jobs only last as long as you want to stay. It's not your business (usually) so it matters not to you whether that project ever finishes. If it does matter to you, then you have taken possession of it to your own detriment. That's akin to working for free. But that's your choice if you wish to devalue your worth.

(Devalue?? If you're working for 60 hours and being paid for 40, you value your time at 2/3 what it should be. Similarly, if you take possession of the job/project and are not being paid for your emotional input, you're devaluing your emotional worth.)

If that's still not getting the message across, think of a house that you own. Many people consider a house emotionally: "That's my 'home'. I can't leave it." Others of us consider a house as 'just a pile of bricks' which has mere monetary worth, and can be discarded without a moment's notice.

If your company decided that your employment was no longer in the best interest of that same ongoing project, do you think they would blink before letting you go?

No, it’s just business. It’s not your project, it’s the company’s project, and it’s their responsibility to ensure the project continues to run smoothly. What is important is that you cooperate in the ways they ask and make sure you prepare your colleagues as best you can to continue on without you. Most people will have no hard feelings and will even be excited for you. It’s not personal.

Your work in progress really shouldn't have bearing on whether you decide to leave a company or not. That's why you have a notice period in which you can hand things over to colleagues and hopefully you have a good process that includes documentation and knowledge sharing so other people can get to speed quickly.

I've had two jobs in IT, 13 years and 10 years. The last job was a good one. I left it because I didn't want to do the type of work I was doing anymore. I have a family and had 6 months salary saved in the bank. 1 1/2 years on and despite covid things are going well.

Work is never finished in IT :-) My advice is be advenurous with eyes wide open. There's a lot of fantasy thinking in our geek corner of the world that says everyone is awesome and can be a huge financial success. That doesn't sit right with me. What I know for a fact is that you can make a good living if you have invested your work life in IT.

And to specifcally answer your question...leave your job being grateful for the opportunity and resources the job gave you. Everyone will be happy then.

The work is never finished. The business (probably) existed before you and it will (probably) exist after you. Do what's best for yourself.

I worked as a firefighter-paramedic for 14 years. In June of 2020 I decided to leave and found another job totally different career field.

On a Thursday I turned in my resignation and gave my 2 week notice. I called out sick on Friday. I had vacation scheduled for the next 2 weeks.

Sayonara bitches!

Unless the company messed with you severely this kind of moves is the worst. You make the rest of your co-workers unexpectedly carry your load. Essentially punishing your co-workers because you are leaving.

That and (depending on the state) they don’t have to grant you leftover vacation. I’ve has friends who planned this and then the employer accepted their resignation “effective immediately”. Not only did they not get to help usher along their replacement but they left thousands of dollars worth of vacation on the table

I agree but the companies also need to manage this risk by making sure people actually use their leave. If you have someone nearing the end of the year, appraisal time, with 6 weeks leave then you may have an issue

That is a great way to burn bridges. Must have been a horrible place to work.

I understand your point and to some extent I agree. One thing I didn't mention was I was "upstairs" and not in the field due to health issues. Believe me when I say I wasn't putting any undue burden on anyone by going this route.

The other thing is we were allowed to take as much vacation as we had saved up. The only criteria to take it was you had to schedule it more than 7 days out AND only a certain amount of people could be off at anyone time. Scheduling time off was automated so it would only could get it if you met those 2 criteria.

There were many people who thought it was a horrible place to be (in the field). I was not one of them. It was probably the best 14 years of my life. But I could not wait to get away from being "upstairs".

If this had been a traditional 9-5, office setting then I definitely would not have done it this way. And honestly no one bats an eye at this at this department. It wasn't that long ago if you turned your 2 week notice in and they found out you were going to another department they would usually just tell you not to show up the next shift. That was a different time with different management.

There's two basic paths to doing this on your terms:

0) figure out policies re: PTO at termination, vesting, etc, so you don't get screwed

a) find new job

b) plan how to distribute knowledge to others in 2-4 weeks (or whatever separation time is customary)

c) bring plan to current management

d) work on the plan if management accepts, or chillax if management deems resignation immediate (or check with new employer about moving start date)

0) same as above

a) plan to retire

b) make it known you are planning to retire and push back on new work

c) finish up things / document and hand them off

d) when you run out of things, give 2-4 weeks notice

e) tie up loose ends you forgot (or don't if your resignation becomes immediate)

f) chillax (and fix a lot of stuff at home you didn't have time to realize was broken)

Document, train so others can pick up where you’ve left off, and then skip town.

If something gets lost in progress, it’s not your fault, it’s your company’s fault for not making sure there was coverage.

Ideally, I'd like to retire, or just ghost them.

Realistically, I'd give 2 weeks notice. From the experience of others, they would have me train others and create additional documentation for my areas of knowledge.

In addition to everything else here...

Don't forget that if you were to suddenly abducted by aliens or fell into a time portal your work would replace you, quickly, and the jobs would go on.

I am surprised by the amount of selfish responses. To me it comes down to professionalism and not treating the people I work with, with disrespect.

1. Find out your company's policy. For a lot of companies in the US it's 2 weeks, for a lot of Indian based companies is 3 months. So figure out how long ahead of time you need to let them know. (let's call this X)

2. Figure out how much PTO you have. (let's call this Y)

3. Do you have a new job lined up? When is their start date? (let's call this Z)

4. Ideally you want X + Y < Z, so you can take your PTO and work however many weeks you have and then start your new job. Otherwise you can X < Z + Y (where you are taking PTO and working on your new job)

Personally I don't like taking an extra break between work, so I have my last day on a Friday and then on Monday I am starting the new job. If you have PTO time you can at least get paid for not working. I have had about 11 different jobs and I can still contact old co-workers and managers and get recommendations when I need them. No reason to burn bridges.

Even in very toxic environments there are still some co-workers that I appreciate, or as a manager people that worked for me that I appreciated.

Having said all of that to respond to your question

> Do people generally just abandon the work in progress that they're doing or do they finish it out?

There is always a work in progress. Isn't that what working is? This is why you give your 2 weeks notice or whatever. If it's not time sensitive you can talk to your manager, tell them that you are going to quit, but work with him on the exact date. What you do in that 2 week time frame is either finishing what you want finish OR documenting / training the next person to take over.

One of the personal things I do, and I am probably a rare case, is to give everyone that mattered me to a hand written note of what I like about them, anything I am thankful for etc. With my direct manager I do the same, but I will add what I feel was the most frustrating point of working for them. There is no menace there, but more like a "hey I am leaving, here are my honest thoughts". I tend to do this the last day, drop things on people's desks, preferably when they are not around.

> Other people seem to move jobs a lot more than me.

I was that person, I moved jobs, a new job every 2-4 years. Any of the 4 year spans usually involved some internal move. Now that I am older, and perhaps wiser I have realized that if you find a company you like, it's fine to stick with it and grow with them. I have been with my current company for 8 years and I haven't really thought about leaving. I have changed 4 titles though, Jr Dev to Dev Lead with everything in between.

I make sure I leave the work well documented for the one who follows, but I do not put in more effort and time than contractually obliged. I also push back on everything new, and give the reason above. This leaves me without stress, and since I'm leaving, they cannot really do shit about me declining new tasks. If questioned by someone, I ask whether they want to inherit two half-done projects when I'm gone or just one. That puts an end to requests. If at any time some manager's manager tries to strongman me around while on notice period, I delete their emails, block their IM and pretend I haven't seen what they sent me.

Quite simply an e-mail to my manager and HR stating my last day will be in two weeks and that we should start the knowledge transfer process.

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