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It has a 20,000 container capacity, so if it's full and you could unload them at a rate of 1 per minute (assuming multiple choppers) it would take 2 weeks with no stopping, but I assume the frequency would be much lower than that so you're talking possibly months to unload even a fraction of them.

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Also - it's quite possible it'd further beach itself during the unloading unless you replaced the mass in an easily removable manner... To which end I'd like to suggest self-launching lead trebuchets.

I understand this is all not realistic, but since we're just spitballing here, before I realized how many containers we're even talking about here, I had rather wondered if lifting off a lesser number of containers in the right place would be exactly right to shift the weight/balance for the ship to get unstuck.

That might be the case - also, just for the serious - a less silly recommendation. This is what ballast does (sorta) and replacing the containers with water (i.e. in inflatable reservoirs) that can quickly be pumped out might be a reasonable way to Inidiana Jones your way into tricking the rolling boulder and/or listing vessel.

Yeah, from the middle out.

Someone grab a whiteboard...

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