ORMs reduce code duplication. They speed up development, especially when you're treating the underlying data storage as a "dumb" datastore that could just as easily be sqlite or H2 as MySQL or Postgres.
As for ORMs having some sort of negative impact on the queries sent to the underlying database - it really depends on what ORM you use but any ORM I've used had support for pre-loading relationships in advance when required, removing that N+1 problem.
I also want to add that I wrote an ORM for the first company I worked for and when it was finished it was a drop-in replacement for 90% of the queries in our application - and I mean that literally the SQL generated by the ORM was exactly the same as the SQL being replaced. The queries that it couldn't replace (mainly reporting queries) already had an aggressively tuned caching layer in front of them anyway because they were so hairy.
But the real point is this: the performance of the ORM didn't really matter because we were a database driven website that needed to scale - so we had layers upon layers of caching to deal with that issue.
And that is an extremely important point - the way ORMs generalise a lot of queries (every query for an object is always the same no matter what columns you really need) lends itself to extremely good cache performance. Take the query cache of MySQL for example - it stores result sets in a sort of LRU. If you make n queries for the same row in a DB but select different columns each time - you store the same "entity" n times in the query cache. Depending on how big n is, that can cause much worse cache hit performance than simply storing one representation of that entity and letting all n use cases use the attributes they need.
Now, relying on MySQL's query cache for anything would not be smart, but replace it with memcached or reddis or whatever memory-is-a-premium cache and the same point stands. Another example to drive the point home is a result set where you join the result entities to the user query so that you can get all the results back in a single query. In theory this is a great way to reduce the number of queries sent to your DB but if you have caching then there are many times where you could have very low cache hit ratios for user queries since they tend to be unique (for example they use user id) but where you could still get great cache hit performance if certain entities appear often across all those result sets by leaving out the join and doing N+1 fetches instead.
ORMs prevent you from scaling as much as using Python or Ruby over C does.
So I guess that leaves the point about leaky or broken abstractions. Well I would never claim that you can abstract across a whole bunch of databases anyway, I think that's a ridiculous claim that most ORMs make. These types of abstractions when people try to hide the underlying technology are really just a lowest-common-denominator of all the feature sets. So if you chose some technology because you really wanted a differentiating feature then most likely you will find yourself working against such abstractions. Interestingly enough, the dire support for cross-database queries which are perfectly legal in MySQL but not in other vendors is the reason I had to roll my own ORM. But the productivity and maintainability benefits were well worth it.
So yeah I guess what I'm saying is: premature optimization is the root of all evil, there are no silver bullets and performance and scalability is about measuring and optimising where needed. And finally: ORMs are not an anti-pattern.