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Comment by WhyNotHugo | Hacker News Reader

I'm constantly amazed at how the mainstream population uses phones.

Most people tend to have phone with alarming-notifications, so they get informed that they have a message, or email or whatever. The phone interrupts them and directs their attention. They train themselves to be controlled by their phones.

I'd go crazy trying to live like that. I have no audible notifications, and vibration only for actual calls. Everything else: I'll see it when I see it. I tend to think of it as receiving a letter -- I'll see it when I check if there's any post, I don't need to be interrupted right away. Personal space and all that.

It just seems so mentally unhealthy. The same applies to sleeping with your phone in the same room.

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I have my phone in do not disturb mode 24/7. The only exceptions are "VIP" contacts from close family...everything else can wait until next morning 8am when I'm checking personal stuff first thing or until around 8pm when I have my evening distraction session.

So. If I do get an audible notification, it's almost always urgent, bad news.

> I have my phone in do not disturb mode 24/7

Me too. I've recommended it to so many people, but I think many are so addicted to that dopamine hit they find it hard to do.

I have found that I am involved with too many things with too many random people for that to work, so instead I flip my phone to silent mode whenever I am doing something interesting or with people, and then if somebody notify when when I am browsing hn, that is probably fine.

I have DND on during the night and work day. Like gp, if somebody can make it sound at 4 A.M, I want to be there to take the call, but it is almost certainly bad news.

I do something similar but have my DND hours for my work apps set on outside work hours and at night. If someone really needs me, they can call me twice in a row to override the DND and sound my ringtone (at least on iOS).

> The only exceptions are "VIP" contacts from close family.

Curious how you configured this? I'd be interested in this as well.

If you have an iPhone, you can flag certain contacts as allowing "Emergency Bypass". This lets their calls (and text messages if you flip another switch) vibrate and/or ring your phone even if you're in do-not-disturb mode.

Can't speak for Android, but I'm sure it has a similar feature (and due to system access it allows third-party apps, maybe you can do the same for third-party chat apps as well).

In DND settings, there’s also option called “Allow Calls From” which user can choose from:

  >Everyone
  >No One
  >Favourites
  >Specific Group

Worth noting in iOS any contact may bypass DND by calling twice in quick succession even if the contact isn’t starred.

In Android, you can have starred contacts. Only their calls will get through.

In Android you can configure Do Not Disturb to allow notifications from specific apps. I'm very curious if iPhone can do this.

Glad to see there are other people like me, who use a phone like "receiving a letter" - no interruptions, just checking it occasionally when I'm not busy.

> They train themselves to be controlled by their phones.

For many people this is fine because most everything can already been done online - remote work is huge, friendships and relationships are often formed exclusively through chat apps or VR, and they get most, if not all, of their entertainment from Netflix/YT/TikTok. For them, managing time spent on different services will make a bigger difference to their QOL than deciding to not use their phone.

The problem is boredom. We've become accustomed to having an instant excitement dispenser, and are now addicted to it. Boredom has become even more uncomfortable than it used to be, because we're no longer used to being bored.

No study or links to cite, just my observation.

I was maintaining an esports community/business on the side for a few years with discord and social media profiles. I eventually just turned off all notifications as it was too much. I would instead check app notifications and apps directly a couple times a day unless there was an event/tournament coming up that required a faster response. I can't imagine having to live with all notifications for these platforms enabled and responding immediately.

For me vibration is very intrusive notification, if the phone is on the table, the table all but explodes, a melody without vibration is a much softer notification.

The alternative was everyone using loud ring tones. Some how amazingly society managed to shame that away.

I hate the sound of my wife's iphone on vibrate. She has it on silent but then I hear this annoying sound from across the room. I would definitely be a fan of some nice sound instead of vibrate or the common ping sounds.

The default iphone notification sound is so incredibly loud. Especially when someone sends multiple messages its like its striking a bell inside my head.

I find the Apple watch to be the least intrusive notification method. Its just a light tap on the wrist. And it uses different taps for different things. Receiving a text message is different to a call and different to the message telling me to stand up for a minute.

It also doesn't make any sound so its not distracting others in the office and it can always be felt while vibrations in my pocket are not always noticeable.

> And it uses different taps for different things. Receiving a text message is different to a call and different to the message telling me to stand up for a minute.

And the "low battery" warning is heart attack inducing, heh.

I really like the Apple Watch, they just need to fix the part where multiple notifications in a short period of time effectively DDoS you from being able to use the damn thing.

> I have no audible notifications, and vibration only for actual calls.

I have no notifications at all except for calls and text messages from a few specific people.

It's about identifying healthy boundaries, and apparently most people can't do that when it comes to smart phones.

We use ours like regular phone junkies to stay connected/dick around/navigate life throughout the work day. But we use gps/time triggers to shut off notifications during our time most likely to be used for deep focus, and/or enable airplane mode at night, when at home, on dates, or with family.

That way the silence is natural, and we don't have to rely on our own self-control to do the right thing.

I'm the same way. It's crazy when you see people out in public that are having some kind of text conversation and their phone makes a loud obnoxious beep with every message. I honestly couldn't tell you the last time my phone was off silent mode.

It's not the phones people are overwhelmingly interacting with.

Unless you're watching someone bored in public transport reading the news on the phone or something, phones are just the mean, not the end.

There are people at the other end - colleagues, friends, loved ones. They are talking to each other, sharing experiences, having fun, being in love, agreeing on what's for dinner, planning, coordinating, organizing, updating, ... and a lot more other, maybe banal things.

At least for me, friend is a friend, loved one is a loved one, and it doesn't matter if we communicate via text, photo of a cool thing one of us just saw or in person, I'm going to be happy to hear from them.

I was with Android for a while but inherited my wife's iPhone. Since I found it so annoyingly loud I asked that she put it on mute like my phone and she didn't mind. Apparently it was on mute so long, the physical mute switch won't turn back on! It flips back instantly if I try.

Anyway that was a mixed blessing because I found the iPhone's vibration to be barely noticeable compared to my old phone so I missed a few calls that I wanted to take. I had to use accessibility features to unmute the device then slowly turn off each notification as it annoyed me. I'm fairly happy where I have it now.

I'm all about minimizing notifications - however, a letter is a terrible way for my friend to let me know they are running ten minutes late to meet me, or for my neighbor to ask for a quick task, etc. So texts still alert me.

I'm with you on trying to have minimal notifications. I have one personal email configured only for important mails, phone is set to vibration only since years (TBH I don't even remember what my ringtone sounds like) and my phone is always face down, which means DND mode. That being said, I relate with what the article says. I find myself checking my phone every 20 minutes or so for notifications and the occasional Twitter/Instagram scrolling. It is distracting to me!

I have to admit, just yesterday I changed my phone notifications to audibly (sound or vibration) notify me only for calls of any kind. Signal still gets a silent notification with no details but every other app, including email, doesn't really deserve my immediate attention. Will that piss some people off? I doubt it but maybe. Will I spend less time on my phone, for sure!

Indeed. I have configured almost all apps on my phone to alert silently, leaving only a handful of applications that will actually vibrate my phone, that way when I feel my phone vibrate I know it's something I care about rather than trivial updates that might be of some interest, but can be viewed in the alerts tray whenever I get to it.

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