There was a wonderful quote to this effect a while ago on HN but I can't quite find it.
Again, for extroverts. For (many) introverts forced small talk is unnatural and often makes interactions more awkward.
"Rough day?"
Would you consider things like that small talk? I don't, and it's usually enough to decide how to proceed. Being direct can mean asking someone if they're up to dealing with what you have to say. I've found that empathy is a great conversation starter.
Can you give me an example of the kind of small talk that you find to be painful?
Small talk and social niceties aren't merely hot air, they are tools you can use to assess a person's mood, what they are interested in or comfortable discussing, or even whether it is productive to discuss something at all. Consider it the metadata of conversation.
Also consider that conversation is two-way communication. You reveal information about yourself not just by the answers you give, but by the questions you ask.
If I walk into my subordinate's office right now and say "Have you finished that graph yet?" then that communicates that I'm really impatient about getting that graph. Which would be fine if I am, but I'm not. If I do that, I'll just make him jumpy and anxious.
Instead I'll wander down to his office and start with a "Hey, how's it going?" before asking about the graph, cuz I'm not actually impatient to get it, I'm just interested to know whether he's making progress or whether there's anything I need to help him with. The smalltalk is basically just equivalent to "I come in peace".
If I were a gorilla I'd probably have to do this with gestures and facial expressions, but since I'm a human I have this extra tool in my arsenal to communicate the non-threatening nature of my approach. Awesome!
In that situation, I too would prefer the introvert's preferences. But it's far from an ideal situation.
Out of place small talk doesn't actually help people that are perspective enough to realize you want something. My experience has been that when a manager randomly starts a conversation that's not work related when it's not lunch or break time they are going to be asking or demanding things I won't like. Infinitely so when they just called you into their office.
That is how we introverts see it.
Getting into a time-filling general conversation about the weather is 'small talk'.
The two are pretty distinct, and the dislike of small talk does not mean that the social nicety grease is discarded.
Of course, people that think "no point yet" = "not valuable ever" might want to pursue philosophical nihilism until terminal depression. But I digress.