I'm talking about someone I know who has been in precisely this situation.

You don't know anything about me, or that situation, but you are happy to accuse me of:

- Claiming to speak for lesbians - Spreading propaganda from bigots - Using "abuser tactics" - Having unexamined prejudices - Making prejudicial assumptions - Having no respect for trans people - Not engaging in good faith

I'd actually be really happy to discuss this topic in good faith, as it's important to someone I care about, and you clearly have a very different opinion. But I'd want you to read the HN guidelines first and make an effort to follow them.