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Comment by jjav | Hacker News Reader

Realistically you can't retire, not with two pre-teen kids.

But you can take a comfortable number of years off though and it is very nice to do that. Decompress, spend tons of time with those pre-teen kids while they still are that age.

I took about 3 years off in my 40s when my child was starting elementary school. Spent all my afternoons playing with the kid and all mornings (school time) working on my personal projects at home. Highly recommended!

With 2.8M while you can't retire forever, you also won't have any urgency to find a new job so you can be picky when you start looking, like I was. Finding a new job can be difficult if you're desperate for it, but with no urgency you can hold out for a great job.

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> Realistically you can't retire, not with two pre-teen kids.

Yeah, I think I realize this deep down, and part of why I don't want to.

> I took about 3 years off in my 40s

How did your job search go when you decided to go back to work? What was your last job before taking a break and what was the new job that you found? Were they similar or completely different? Did you have any trouble with a 3-year gap? You obviously didn't have any major issues, like not finding a job. But were you questioned a lot about the gap? Sorry so many questions, but I'm intensely interested in how it went for you because I might be doing the same.

If I do take a year off, I figure I could explain it partly with the pandemic, and wanting to take care of my kids (not untrue).

I know my savings allow me a long runway and if I take a career break, I'm sure I could figure something out during that time. But still, actually stepping off that cliff is nerve-wracking, for me at least.

I had way less savings (but enough to live comfortably at least 5 years and maybe another 5 penny-pinching if I had to) and it wasn't stressful.

I suggest setting up a solo consulting business up front. I didn't think of doing that, did it in the third year and only after someone contacted me asking for some consulting help. I did then have a couple clients for consulting but I only worked a couple hours a week and not every month so it was minimal-to-none at best. But it did give me a legitimate entry in the resume as consulting business owner. Maybe that helped.

I was very worried about the gap but it was a non-issue. Most places didn't ask at all. The few that did, I told them I wanted to be a stay-at-home-dad for a while and spend time with the kid (true) and everyone was "wow, very cool!"

(I'm in Silicon Valley, culture might be different elsewhere.)

It's hard to say how long it took me to find a new job because I didn't exactly look for one. After setting up the consulting gig I started thinking it would be great to find enough consulting work to fill about 20hrs/wk and just keep doing that. So I started reading my linkedin messages instead of ignoring them. I'd respond to the recruiters saying I'm not looking for a full time role but I'd be open to part-time consulting for their project. No takers, I wish companies were more open to part-time help. One of those recruiters ended up being more persistent and convinced me to go in for interviews even though I didn't want a FT role. Ended up liking the team so took the offer. I was at a principal engineer/architect level before and after.

I obviously don't know your situation but given your high savings and the age of the kids, it's a great opportunity to spend time with them now.

Thank you, you've given me a lot to be optimistic about.

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