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Comment by pothrow | Hacker News Reader

Quitting porn.

At age 45, having been addicted since first finding I could download over 1200 baud dialup on my parents phone line and watching Cinemax late night through the static, it has just been a thing in my life almost daily and honestly I'd given up on caring whether it was a bad thing or not.

I'd felt guilty about it sometimes, and sure, tried to quit on a number of occasions, but always ended up back within a week or two.

Finally one day early last year I just decided to quit, and for whatever reason, that time it worked. And even though day to day I don't think it's made any objective change in my life, every time I think about it, I'm so happy to be done with it.

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What downside(s) did you experience, that led you to want to give it up?

From an outsider’s perspective, I’m wondering why spending time watching porn is ultimately much different from time spent with any other sedentary pastime?

Because you end up feeding a primate/reproductive prime control system, using unlimited and synthetic input. The system was never designed for the this kind of "bandwidth". Since we are biological machines, other parts of the organism need to compensate... This compensation is very dangerous in the long run both from a personal and a social side.

You could argue the same about entertainment. But seeking it is not a prime directive on an organic level opposed to reproduction.

And yet it’s still possible to eat ice cream even though such a thing would not be found on the savanna.

Some people can’t control this and become wildly obese, but others eat ice cream, understand what it is, and get on with their life.

The drive for reproduction is way stronger than the need for energy (sugar - ice cream).

I don’t agree.

You need to eat to not die before you need sex.

Yes. But given the choice, in non life or death situation. Between sex and food. People would pick way more sex than food.

What I mean is that sex is easier to reach for than food when a person is bored.

Just like heroin is more potent than aspirin.

Also it has been proven that both sex and heroin stimulate pleasure parts of the brain.

> Yes. But given the choice, in non life or death situation. Between sex and food. People would pick way more sex than food.

Ever notice how folks have sex less frequently when they're in relationships and as they grow older? Where the opportunities for sex exist in multitudes? Yet they never stop eating. You can live without sex, you can't live without food. The drive for the two are not comparable.

> Where the opportunities for sex exist in multitudes?

But porn is easier...

I don't think the focus should be on "understanding what it is". Others eat ice cream and don't get into a physiological loop that they can't control without a lot of hardship and scientific tools.

IDK, like I said it really wasn't having much tangible effect on my life. But, it was always there gnawing at me if I thought about it. I mean, there's always (1) the potential of getting caught, which would not be fun, and (2) the loss of time that could be better used. And the minor gnawing at the conscience.

As far as why right then ended up being the time, it's hard to say. I think maybe it was that I made it more about improving myself as a whole rather than rooting out some insidious evil. More of a picking something off my bucket list and doing it.

Did it make me better? IDK, I still find other ways to slack off when I can. But I definitely feel better when I think about it. Much more than I'd expected to. And very possibly it's just some air of a superiority complex above my former self. Which is a stupid reason, but who cares: I'd assume in most people's view it's a positive to at-worst-neutral turn whatever the reason. And of course it's nice to know that I'll never have to worry about getting caught again.

If you are referring to porn, despite the general perception I think it's quite harmless. Things like drugs, smoking, alcohol and even spedning time on Facebook and Instagram have much worse effect on someone's wellbeing. People use it mostly for stress relief and that's much better strategy than smoking pot or even casual drinking.

Just because other things are also bad for you does not mean that porn isn't bad for you. It's established that it is.

> It's established that it is.

Is it?

Yes.

https://fightthenewdrug.org/

If you are referring to alcohol, despite the general perception I think it's quite harmless.

If you are referring to drugs, despite the general perception I think it's quite harmless.

If you are referring to smoking, despite the general perception I think it's quite harmless.

What became different after you quit?

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