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Comment by MPSimmons | Hacker News Reader

The year is 2045. 35 percent of humanity's GDP is invested in improving pasta technology. The current record-setting pasta is being extruded through a bronze die which had been cast into a void produced by activated charcoal formed around transformer-derived non-euclidean topologies. A one-quarter-inch pasta has three square miles of surface area.

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Extrusion is soooo 2032. Here in 2045 we direct nanobots to assemble our 3D-fractal pasta to atomic precision. Look for it under the brand name FractalDente™.

Not much progress has been made on precise cooking instructions though. The more accurately the cooking time is measured, the longer it takes.

Asympastote.

Mandelbrotini™

Do we still throw it against the wall to see when it's done?

Or will it make the wall collapse to a point?

It's done when it travels back in time exactly 13 seconds.

Klein bottle shaped pastas can be constructed and blur the distinction between extruded noodles and filled pastas.

Getting hungry thinking about it.

Paging @CliffStoll on aisle Klein.

> Klein bottle shaped pastas can be constructed

Can they though? At scale? With what mechanism?

Slightly damp glutinous starch isn't as great a material as you might imagine.

3d Pasta printer

if you want non-orientable surfaces you'll need a 4d printer.

Sounds like you could sell it as an NFT!

And ravioli/tortellini are no longer filled, but grown whole.

Not by 2045, at least not likely. The theory that for every thing you might want to manufacture, an infinite universe must contain a planet where it grows naturally is older than most people on hn, but I doubt that we'll find planet Raviolon that soon. How would you even start a serious SETP Project without a smelloscope? (scheduled for y3k)

> How would you even start a serious SETP Project without a smelloscope?

Obviously by using for the characteristic emission spectra of sodium, associated with pasta cooked in well-salted water. Unless of course you're looking for naturally uncooked pasta.

Welp, time to go read the Myst series again.

The most popular pasta meme, "Il Spaghettio", currently holds three of the Internet's 8000 congressional seats, and instances of it are commonly made from synthetic cruelty-free wheat, mainly for the purpose of worship.

In 2054, multiple scandals erupted over influence from at least two clandestine NFT-holding polls. Improper influence led to reforms starting with RFC 451323, which first described the Memetic Transparency Protocol.

Of course, the FSM holds the other 7997 seats, due to the rise of post-apocalyptic religious zealotry, combined with the use of directed microwave energy to systematically purge the old guard.

They said I was crazy when I stocked my panic room with 3d print stock (steel, of course) and emp-hardened colander designs. FOOLS! Who’s crazy now?

Cruelty-free wheat makes me wonder what the normal stuff tastes like.

This whole thread is sounding like a Better Off Ted episode[1]

[1] https://youtu.be/HnXfLGcENnI

That show was too good for this world. The Veridian Dynamics commercials were just perfect: https://youtube.com/watch?v=S4e37QsJNuE

I’m expecting to see a website called “this pasta does not exist” anytime soon.

It’s a shame that we have such powerful AI (and of course blockchain) tech which hasn’t been applied to pasta yet!

Finally a use for NFTs

Non Filled Tortellinis?

In place of pasta, I come with offerings of ramen: https://twitter.com/knjcode/status/1102771002222637056

Presumably GPT-23 was put in charge of the world economy and told to maximise the utilization of open sauce.

Great pasta transformer.

BREAKING NEWS

Massive Fire Raging at Pasta Factory in San Bixenino

March 20, 2045

A massive fire is raging out of control at the MegaFoodGrpInc Pasta factory on Foodstuffs Avenue this evening. Fire department officials report being hampered by the presence of eldritch inter-dimensional entities, as well as water supply problems related to non-functional fire hydrants in the area.

San Bixenino FD spokesbot XJa32l/14 reports that mutual aid has been called in from all over California, and fire-fighting operations are now in a defensive mode.

/14 adds "These new exotic materials they are using in foodstuff remodulation today burn longer and hotter than ever before. We've cautioned them about buying supplies from Nyarlathotep before, but they just don't listen."

No bot or firefighter injuries have been reported so far.

Nothing even close to jovian french fries: https://www.sciencemag.org/news/2013/12/scienceshot-french-f...

> 35 percent of humanity's GDP is invested in improving pasta technology.

The remainder of the GDP is spent on crypto-mining.

We need more minerals!

If you swap "pasta" with "keyboards", you'll get 2021 :D

Just the other day, I saw a prototype of a maglev-mounted keyboard. Vibration dampening is the trend these days, and going over the top (with questionable objective returns) is rather common.

But then how could it click?

I'm still waiting for the day the Space Cadet keyboard makes its long-overdue comeback. How am I supposed to use Emacs with a measly three modifier keys?

Wait until they manage to fabricate Gabriel's Horn [0] pasta, a shape with finite volume but infinite surface area. Pour a cup of pasta sauce in there and you are set.

Might take an new universe and infinitely thin sauce to do it though.

0: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gabriel%27s_Horn

If you pour a cup of pasta sauce in there, does it just disappear?

Not usually a sci-fi fan but this is a plot line I can get behind

Pasta foam? Sounds like it would fall apart. What's it made of? How would you cook it? Sounds like AeroGel. Does it have aerospace applications?

The year is 2083. The state of the art in pasta technology is to use artificial intelligences whose sole purpose is to produce functions that define a pasta’s shape as a function of time to produce variable surface area. Cheap three dimensional pasta is now eaten almost exclusively by basic income households.

I bet some kinda 3D printed dough mesh would be the most saucable shape

So you are joking... but 3d printing allows us to manufacture new and different parts because 3d printing is ADDITIVE and "milling" is REDUCTIVE (removing?).

There is one technique where you have gell filled with aluminum particles. You then use lasers to heat up specific areas. It melts/fuses the aluminum and burns off the gell. In the end you have cast aluminum in any shape that is as hard as if you had milled it from a solid block.

Maybe we'll have custom 3d printed pasta that matches your tooth alignment to fully max out toothability.

It will be called "protesi" - Italian for "dentures".

> "milling" is REDUCTIVE (removing?)

FYI, the word you are looking for is "subtractive"

https://formlabs.com/eu/blog/additive-manufacturing-vs-subtr...

Thanks!

Nah! i'll stick to the old and tried - pasta extruded by the black hole event horizon.

What difference is there between people and pasta in the eye of a black hole?

Both are definitely subject to spaghettification :-D

s/pasta/battery/g

replace GDP with electricity and pasta with bitcoin and you'll be pretty close

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