Ask HN: Possible to recover from being a frustrated mediocrity for 30+ years?

I do about three hours of work in a month, seriously...I'm floating along on some contracts but It's only a matter of time before I'm found out.

I've had a few extended periods like this now (I'm only mid 30's myself). I guess I have/had a different perspective. I called these times "success".

I do admit, it is a drink best consumed in moderation. I worked my ass off to get those contracts that allowed me to float, but before long, I forgot that initial effort and started to unconsciously believe that I'd lucked into the whole thing, was an impostor and would soon be exposed.

A few things that helped:

Every once in a while I'd go up to the corporate headquarters of my biggest contract and have a look around. It only took a few minutes to realize that my few hours per month were giving them more value than the paper-tied tps-report generating slackers they paid $75k gave them working full time. Even if I was the goof I felt myself in my darkest imaginations, they were still getting their money's worth.

I volunteered. I found some places that needed help desperately, and I was the smartest guy in the room, and I helped out.

I networked. I found some places where I was the dumbest guy in the room and I learned everything I could.

There are two universal truths(1) no matter where you are in your journey. There are people much smarter and more motivated than you and there are people much dumber and less motivated than you. I found that putting myself in situations where I could feel the gradient and my place on it was tremendously motivating.

(1) If you happen to be Donald Knuth or Chuck Norris, you should probably just ignore this whole section.

I really needed to read this. Thank you.

Motivation has two dimensions: goal attractiveness, goal expectancy.

Goal attractiveness is basically how much do you want it and goal expectancy is how much you believe you can attain the goal.

As you can see they are two perpendicular forces which directly affect the direction your motivation/dedication towards attaining goals are pointing.

I don't know you, but a common problem many people face is that they look at the world around them and focus on other people's achievements and wish for the same. The only problem is on the motivation dimensions their scales get way tipped over..

As an example, you may look at what is happening on HN and wish for what Andrew Mason is doing with Groupon or Zuckerberg has achieved with FB. The issue is that while that goal is extremely attractive the expectancy of you achieving it is very negative and so the motivation vector ends up pointing in the negative direction.

Developing this argument as I go along, I would therefore say that the correct approach is to take stock of what your current strengths are, what your challenges are and strategize a plan. Namely one that sets you up with small bite sized goals which are positively geared for your current situation and continually update the goal statuses. Maybe have daily, weekly, monthly, quarterly and half yearly goals and work on them.

THEREFORE, you can definitely change, you just need to have realistic goals and discipline to tough it out.

I find healthy people have more energy and are more focused. This always leads to more motivation. Do you eat well? Exercise daily? Sleep properly? I still think those are the three fundamental aspects of productivity/happiness. Of course this is a generalization - we all know fat programmers who are hugely (hahaha) successful. This shouldn't be controversial, the relationship between poor health and poor productivity is well established. Of course, you need to be honest with yourself, I've known some stupidly unhealthy people who thought they were really healthy.

More specifically to programming, we all learn differently. Some like books, some like videos, some are more hands on. Ultimately, you need to find what works for you, and spend the time and do it. There's no quick fix/easy solution. You need to spend time and get it done. I'd suggest small quick projects so that you get the benefit of iterating and learning quickly. If you aren't creative, contribute to something that interets you. Otherwise, pick something that'll solve a real problem you have and go for it. Even something as simple as documenting, you know, through a blog, your process can help.

How are you able to work 30 hours a week? Are you lucky to be in some kind of management position, or do you have some valuable skill that could be productised?

As for motivation ... it's like a muscle. You can't lift 150 pounds if you've been lying in bed all day for a year. Don't expect to work a 12 hour day, either. Just get better.

Time and Experience should not go hand and hand, so dont let that stress you out. I have worked with some devs in their 40+ that are horrible.

It seems like you know what you want, you are just afraid to try and lack the motivation.

My advice, step away from the computer for a couple hours a day. Take a walk or do some exercise, you would be amazed at how much that changes your mindset for the better.

Unfortunately there is no magic words of advice or book you can read to solve your problems. Sometimes you just need to man up, put the cards on the table and do what needs to get done.

Best of luck, hang in there.

Change your environment. Get a job working for a really demanding (but intelligent/thoughtful) person.

Someone who's sort of Steve Jobs meets the drill instructor in Full Metal Jacket.

Someone who will demand you push yourself and get out of your comfort zone.

Even a few months of working for someone like this can have an amazing effect on a person. Kind of like when you see someone come back from a military boot camp.

Definitely not the only way, but it really does work.

Stop focusing on the results (being accomplished, getting things done, etc.) and learn to enjoy the process. Don't worry about working so you can enjoy a reward; learn to enjoy the work itself (or find something else that you do enjoy).

Life's too short to waste time today for a potential reward tomorrow.

Maybe its because your work is too solitary? It is very difficult to remain motivated when working alone as you don't get the feedback of having seen people benefit from your work and have a smile. Unfortunately this seems to be how a lot of IT/computing work is by its nature.

Find other people's projects and/or ventures that you genuinely believe in and can honestly contribute and commit to. Then get stuck in. By doing this, you will build up your skills and more importantly build up your work habits.

You haven't found your passion, something worth dying for. Like they say, you only start living once you start living outside of yourself.

1. Realize that wasting time is getting you closer to your deathbed

2. Try to write some short term goals on a piece of paper or notebook

3. Google pomodoro technique

4. appomodoro.appspot.com

5. Start working your @#$ off

...

6. PROFIT!

what helped me was a supportive work environment a smart boss who managed to make me work. this is hard to find though. being on your own is poison. find people who can work with you and motivate you. humans are not meant to be alone.

Assumption: I bet you'd step up the plate if somebody actually depended on you.

EDIT: i don't mean have kids :)

Please don't reproduce.

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